These are the current teen heartthrobs, according to adolescents of the Internet


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These are the current teen heartthrobs, according to adolescents of the Internet

What is

Every single day, I feel more and more like the actual embodiment of this 30 Rock sceencap-turned-meme:

What’s the hot gossip? Who are the cool bands? Ugh, you girls keep me young. Well, Instagram does anyway.

In the interest of recapturing my childhood and seeing what the #youths of today are up to, I social media stalked the hot young teens of 2018 to see what their deal was — and what 00s celebrity I could compare them to:

WHO: Jacob Sartorius, 14

00s EQUIVALENT: One Time-era Justin Bieber, who found fame recording covers on YouTube or being Usher’s nephew or something.

So sad Summer's over ?

A post shared by Jacob Sartorius (@jacobsartorius) on Sep 17, 2016 at 11:08am PDT

CLAIM TO FAME: Lip-syncing Young Money songs while on a hoverboard. He amassed a mega following and eventually began releasing his own music, including the iconic smash hit song “Sweatshirt.” The video, in which a sweatshirt magically comes to life, can be found here.



WHO: Baby Ariel, 16

00s EQUIVALENT: Ashlee Simpson, fellow lip-syncer


A post shared by Baby Ariel (@babyariel) on Jan 26, 2017 at 3:35pm PST

CLAIM TO FAME: Like Jacob Sartorius, Baby Ariel (not her birth name) struck gold on the lip-sync app She’s the subject of about 10,000 fan fictions, and also makes money through Instagram #sponcon. Her ad for jalapeño Chicken Fries is my favorite — they’re so good. #notanad



WHO: Union J

00s EQUIVALENT: *NSYNC. Boyband, highlights, some leave to go solo. It’s a tale as old as time, really. A more modern comparison could be made to One Direction as they’re also British and blessed with gravity-defying quiffs, but *NSYNC will always be the OG predecessor. I mean, Timberlake is literally a verb (ex: Harry Styles is so gonna Timberlake).


A post shared by Union J (@unionjworld) on Jan 9, 2017 at 10:24am PST

CLAIM TO FAME: How do all popular British boybands form? Say it with me now! X-FACTOR! Even though they came in fourth, they were still signed to RCA (participation trophy generation much? JK, I love rewards for losing) and immediately started producing “Hey girl, I love you smile!”-style earworms your little sister loves.



WHO: Bella Thorne, 19. Also goes by “Yung Smurf” for reasons unknown.

00s EQUIVALENT: Lindsay Lohan, right before everything started to go downhill. So her golden years, basically! A good thing.

I sweat glitter ???✨ #weekendvibes #glitter #yungsmurf

A post shared by BELLA (@bellathorne) on Feb 18, 2017 at 11:09am PST

CLAIM TO FAME: Got her start on Disney (classic), has since parlayed her tween queen clout into supporting roles in movies like The Duff. Also known for her ever-changing hair, penchant for the word “dude” and Snapchatting her bikini waxes, as one does.



WHO: Blake Gray, 16

00s EQUIVALENT: Zac Efron. He came into our lives as a teenager, made his name playing a typical albeit exceptionally good looking high schooler, and was the forefather of this sweepy-haired bang look.

Smile ? @paytonhartsell

A post shared by Blake Gray (@blakegray) on Mar 15, 2017 at 2:35pm PDT

CLAIM TO FAME: — the lip-syncing app — though now he’s mostly about making that coin on Instagram. Along with some of the other teen app stars, he occasionally goes on tour where he plays question games with the audience and hypes them up. Must be nice.



WHO: Sabrina Carpenter, 18

00s EQUIVALENT: Miley Cyrus. They’re both doing the Disney Channel thing, but Sabrina seems to lean towards Miley’s hippy-like I’m-different-let-me-live tendencies.

spot the hidden Mickey #rdma

A post shared by Sabrina Carpenter (@sabrinacarpenter) on Apr 30, 2017 at 9:57am PDT

CLAIM TO FAME: Disney Channel triple-threating. She’s cited Christina Aguilera as an inspiration, which makes sense.