You’re gay if you do any of these things, according to the men of the internet
ALERT: GAY DETECTED !
by Amanda Ross
Ah, fuckboys. To know them is to not love them. When they’re not busy calling women hoes for doing very hoe-y things like going to college and having a phone case, they’re calling each other gay for the same stuff.
str8 men just sitting here questionin if anything is gay like “i put too much jelly on my PB&J for lunch today. is it gay to like jelly?” pic.twitter.com/4q7uJ1rCzG
— judgmental gay ? (@jdgmntlgay) May 12, 2017
Toxic masculinity sounds exhausting, and apparently it means you’re not allowed to like anything good and fun in this world.
Alright, so here’s the definitive list of everything straight men aren’t permitted by Gay Law to enjoy. Take notes:
Is it gay for a guy to get the red iPhone….
— Maine Event (@FERG_83) April 18, 2017
Is it “gay” for a guy to have a rose gold phone?
— tenderoni. (@_dayshaaaa) April 18, 2017
Is it gay for a guy to get a rose gold iPhone ?
— David Chicara (@dchicara122) October 8, 2016
is it gay if i get a rose gold iphone? i just like the color lol
— carl #TXPT (@CBXCVI) April 14, 2017
Is it gay that i finna get the rose gold 6s ?
— . (@Oboyjnate) August 8, 2016
They’re also walking around with some very dirty ass-cracks because soap is super gay:
Is it gay to wash your actual ass?
— Pesos✨ (@MyPockets_Loud) November 26, 2012
is it gay to wash your ass
— lil ricky (@treatsman) May 1, 2016
Is it gay to wash your ass?
— rockies szn (@Thotcho) September 11, 2016
Actually, I don’t know how y’all get clean period because apparently baths are gay too:
Is it gay for a 6ft 20 year old man to take a bubble bath ❓❓❓❓❔❓❓
— April♉️22 (@Kay_Gambino) February 20, 2017
Is it gay for a guy to take a bath??
— Tyler Budde (@TylerBudde23) October 20, 2016
Is It Gay For a Dude To Take a Sit Down Bath ??
— Truu Misfit … (@DeeCee_Truu) October 3, 2016
Is it gay that I’m about to take a bath?
— Tyler Corn (@CornTyler) March 9, 2015
They’ve got a lot of feelings about grooming in general:
Is it gay that I go to a woman’s salon to get my haircut?
— ty (@YoNiggaTy) June 21, 2015
Isnt it gay for a guy to get his eyebrows done cause im gettin my haircut and this dude is gettin his shitt done
— cam bam (@interncam) May 10, 2013
Is it gay to get your haircut at a salon?
— Ev (@e_brazill) May 9, 2013
La La Land is exclusively for the LGBTQIA community:
Is it gay that the movie la la land was cool to me? Like am I coo? Or…
— J. Stoney (@JetLife_45) March 26, 2017
Is it gay if you’re a guy and like La la land? Asking for a friend!! pic.twitter.com/YwcgLljH43
— Jake (@jakewazowski04) May 8, 2017
So is juice — gays only, sorry!
Is it considered gay for me to drink cranberry juice?
— Madley Brasters (@Mad_Brasters) February 25, 2014
Is it gay to drink orange juice with ice or am I just overthinking things
— TONE (@teabagginntony) December 6, 2013
Snapchat is only for furthering the Gay Agenda™
Is it gay for guys to use snapchat filters?
— ♛ frvnkie (@_YungFrank) November 29, 2016
Lmao is it Gay for a guy to use the flower filter on snapchat ?
— Lon£r?? (@Curtiz_) August 18, 2016
Is it gay for dudes to use the dog filter on snapchat?
— KimmyKim (@hoopsnshoes_) March 9, 2016
Came to the conclusion that snap chat is gay and if u don’t have a vagina nd use it ur gay too…..
— Andy The JeT (@AndyyShaw_) January 17, 2013
Anything but beer will turn you gay, be careful:
Is it gay to drink vodka because it has less calories in it?
— JOSHUΔ (@Joshuapenington) June 13, 2013
Is it gay for a guy to drink an entire bottle of wine?????
— Jonh Macario (@JonhMacario) March 31, 2017
Your home smelling good? Gay as fuck:
Is it gay to like candles? Bec I fuck with candles heavy!!
— Ace Boogie (@MikeyHoee) March 22, 2015
Is it gay for me to be obsessed with candles
— James (@JameslBrandon) January 25, 2015
Coats? GAY GAY GAY:
Is it gay to wear a rain coat?
— ian fontenot (@IF_51) September 17, 2012
How is underwear something men think about in terms of gay/straight?
Is it gay to wear pink underwear?
— Roach (@40Mic) February 25, 2010
Is it gay for a dude not to wear underwear??
— Its PoonD Tho (@PooooonD) June 14, 2011
Errr…. is it gay for a Guy to wear matching underwear?
— High Chief (@IamDavidSkillz) July 12, 2014
is it gay if i hold my friend’s hand even though he has his gloves on there’s no skin contact so it’s not right
— hibiki (@hibiki_google) May 12, 2017
Um, I’m worried about men:
Is it gay if I think I look good naked??
— Javi (@Javi_Be_Goon) December 29, 2016
Like, really worried:
Is it gay if I think Justin timberlake makes good music ? Lol
— ? (@EraLaFlare) May 17, 2016
How the FUCK does this make sense???
Is it gay if I think a gay girl is cute ?
— TONY TYME (@TheTonyTyme) October 31, 2016
@chrissyteigan, give us some insight, pls
Is it gay if I think john legend is pretty good lol
— david morgan (@814_morgan) March 31, 2014
I’m really trying to understand, but like….
Is it gay if I think a rapper has a cool voice?
— #Meson (@JamesonTwoTimes) March 17, 2014
This is ill-advised, but not for the reasons he thinks:
Is it gay if i get a kermit the frog tatt? Like he would be wearing a king crown i think its live
— ??King Lewi ? (@King_Sole95) March 14, 2014
Gay for yourself, a new sexuality:
Is it gay if I think my eyes are beautiful?
— Jordan Cant Affordin (@Captain_Passion) December 13, 2013
Who let straight men be in charge of anything?
Is it gay if I think one tree hill is a good show?
— shane scheidegg (@shanescheidegg9) December 5, 2013
Does it make me gay if I think Story Of My Life by One Direction is a descent song?
— Serg (@TheRealsSergio) November 20, 2013
Is it gay if I think the show “pretty little liars” is interesting?
— marcus (@SwagerificOrtiz) August 21, 2013
I got so tired just reading these tweets. I don’t know how you guys manage to do it day in and day out. Stay straight, boys.
Related stories recommended by this writer:
● Sex IRL: The lesbian having sex with her first guy and loving it
● Kendall Jenner says she’s ‘down for gay experiences’ and I volunteer to be her experiment
● You’re a hoe if you do any of these things, according to the men of the internet