You’re gay if you do any of these things, according to the men of the internet

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You’re gay if you do any of these things, according to the men of the internet

ALERT: GAY DETECTED !

by Amanda Ross

Ah, fuckboys. To know them is to not love them. When they’re not busy calling women hoes for doing very hoe-y things like going to college and having a phone case, they’re calling each other gay for the same stuff.

Toxic masculinity sounds exhausting, and apparently it means you’re not allowed to like anything good and fun in this world.

Alright, so here’s the definitive list of everything straight men aren’t permitted by Gay Law to enjoy. Take notes:

They’re also walking around with some very dirty ass-cracks because soap is super gay:

Actually, I don’t know how y’all get clean period because apparently baths are gay too:

They’ve got a lot of feelings about grooming in general:

La La Land is exclusively for the LGBTQIA community:

So is juice — gays only, sorry!

Snapchat is only for furthering the Gay Agenda™

Anything but beer will turn you gay, be careful:

Your home smelling good? Gay as fuck:

Coats? GAY GAY GAY:

How is underwear something men think about in terms of gay/straight?

Ok….

Um, I’m worried about men:

Like, really worried:

How the FUCK does this make sense???

@chrissyteigan, give us some insight, pls

I’m really trying to understand, but like….

This is ill-advised, but not for the reasons he thinks:

Gay for yourself, a new sexuality:

Who let straight men be in charge of anything?

I got so tired just reading these tweets. I don’t know how you guys manage to do it day in and day out. Stay straight, boys.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

● Sex IRL: The lesbian having sex with her first guy and loving it
● Kendall Jenner says she’s ‘down for gay experiences’ and I volunteer to be her experiment
● You’re a hoe if you do any of these things, according to the men of the internet

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