pop • May 12 2017

Katy Perry’s new video is making me hungry, horny, and like I’m gonna throw up all at once

Don’t rub flour into your vagina, that’s not healthy

I'll be the first to admit that even though all of my cool friends disagree, I think Bon Appétit is a certified banger.

I knew the video would be full of sexy food-as-a-metaphor-for-eating-ass motifs, because that's all the song is too. It's a summertime bop, that's what they're about: eating ass. All of them. Every song of the summer. Cake By the Ocean? Ass By the Ocean.

I was not, however, ready for the actual music video. A sample:

Katy is meat (or something) and she gets her body — including this shot of her like…taint area? — covered in flour:

But don't worry! She likes it! We can tell by this o-face she makes:

Then they start boiling her fine ass in a pot. Cool, wine jacuzzi!

She gets her hair chopped off:

She's fed to Migos and their singing pet oyster on a platter:

Then the platter turns into a stripper pole, because why the fuck not:

And then she eats everyone who was gonna eat her! Iconic! Legends only!

And so the ass-eater becomes the eat-ee. A tale as old as time.

Here's the full vid:

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