Remember zip-away pants? OK, now imagine if they were slutty
Instahoe, available now
by Amanda Ross
A quick-change from Resectable Lady to Turbo-Thot is something we all have to do once the clock strikes 8 p.m. But did you know you can now do it in seconds and for the low, low price of $425?!
Yeah, an updated version of those weird zip-away pants the boys at recess wore is now available for you booty shorts needs. Created by Y/Project, it’s…I mean, not a baaaad idea but not one I’m gonna follow through on.
Here’s what it looks like in shorts form:
Hello, camel toe! Guess I’ll die.
High-profile cryptocurrency founder writes blog posts about sex with preteen girls, and says condemning pedophilia is ‘nonsense’
Now he claims the posts are fiction
by Nian Hu
Gavin Wood, the cofounder of the cryptocurrency project Ethereum, revealed in a blog post in 2013 that he is a pedophile who had sex with a 10-year-old girl dying of AIDS. The blog post has since been deleted, but its contents were reposted on Reddit. Wood also wrote other blog posts in which he defended…
The secret to perfect skin that never ages: Minding your own damn business
Consider this your reward for not being racist!
by Nian Hu
You've probably heard this before: black don't crack, Asian don't raisin, brown don't frown. And it's true! Just look at Pharrell. That man has literally looked like a college freshman for the past 10 years. Thanks to the power of melanin, people of color tend to age remarkably well.White people, however, aren't usually so lucky…
Watch this bloodthirsty grandma shoot the fuck out of a 500lb gator because it ate her pet horse
by Josh Kaplan
What do you think your grandmother is doing right now? For those of you lucky enough to answer anything other than "turning in her grave, ashamed of the useless offspring she accidentally created", your grandma is probably doing something wholesome. Maybe baking a nice pumpkin pie (the first of the season), or thinking about what…