Revealed: We figured out when Victoria’s Secret is having 7 for $27 sales so you don’t have to

Buying anything at full price is a scam, but buying panties at full price is a whole other level of shitty when they’re little strips of fabric. $11 for a thong that is literally just a cloth noodle? No thanks!

With their bright-colored lace and pink-striped walls, Victoria’s Secret panties are definitely the most popular luxury vagina-prison. It seems like every girl in America goes to VS when they’re in middle school to buy their first bra and just never leaves.

But damn, we can’t all afford to spend tons of money each year on cushy underoos when we also have to buy new outer clothes every three months because of the soulless fashion industry.

But there is hope in this world, and that’s because of a little thing called the 7 for $27 Victoria’s Secret panty sale. One problem? No one, anywhere, has ever had any fucking clue when it happens.

So in order to get everybody their sexy VS drawers for the cheapest price possible, I spent hours digging through their social media and crying about Candice Swanepoel’s beauty. I tracked down the dates of Victoria’s Secret PINK 7 for $27 sales to let you know exactly when you should plan to buy much more reasonably priced undies.

Sales are most likely to occur in March, May, November, and December

My scientific calculations found a pattern occurring during these months every year.

In May, sales always occur after the 20th – so hold out on those cute cheekies until later in the month. In November and March, sales usually occur during the week of the 10th.

In December, two sales usually occur – during the first week and after Christmas. Even if a panty sale doesn’t happen, a PINK sale does. Basically, they want you to use the Christmas money your grandparents gave you on sexy panties and bras, which I am sure they would entirely approve of.

Sales are also likely to occur in February, July, and October

These happened most years we studied.

February and July sales occur the week of the 20th, while October sales occur the week of the 10th.

Last year, VS was especially stingy and didn’t have a July or October sale. Let’s hope they don’t screw us over in 2017.

7 for $27 sales never occurred in January, April, June, August, or September

But these months tend to be a hot time for PINK sales – so you win some and you lose some.

To help you understand and add a note to your calendar for cheap panties, here’s a handy graph.

Looks like we’ve revealed Victoria’s Secret!

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