What’s the straight up craziest thing that’s ever happened on RuPaul’s Drag Race?

The world is a cold, hard, grey place, and we all need our own small happy things to get us through it. Like, going for a morning run, or taking Xanax. Or watching drag queens fight on TV. The last one is my favourite, and RuPaul’s Drag Race is the best place to go for that.

It’s been eight years, nine seasons and 113 episodes, but it continues to get wilder as time goes on. What though, is truly the most fucked up thing that’s ever happened on the show? It’s probably one of these things to be honest:

Willam getting disqualified

OK, let’s unpack this one because there’s a lot here. Willam’s disqualification from Season 4 was officially because he was having illegal conjugal visits with his husband while filming – the girls are supposed to have absolutely no contact with the outside world while competing in Drag Race. But Willam’s spilled tea in several interviews since then and says there was a bit more than that going on. She told Dirty: “If production wasn’t living up to their end of our agreement, or to what I thought was their end of our agreement, I broke a rule. Sometimes it was for the benefit of all the girls, like we got treated better, you know? So I wouldn’t have changed anything.

“If I ran my mouth and talked about the WHOLE TRUTH, it would come off as me blaming the people who work for Ru, which is a reflection on her at the end of the day. There’s lots of stuff that makes production look bad, makes me look bad, and it makes me look a little slutty too, frankly! You can take from that what you want!”

Whatever happened, her throwing up on the main stage before being sent packing was i c o n i c
.

Max’s corset drama

Willam was the first to spill out of a corset in a bad way, but not the last. Remember Season 7 when Max broke down at an opportune moment (right before being eliminated) complaining that her corset was too tight before collapsing on the stage and singing to the judges? Say what you want about her and that weird fake British accent, but she went home in style.

Roxxxy Andrews being left at a bus stop

Now that we’re at Season 9, Drag Race is basically a group therapy session, but it wasn’t always a 40 minute whine fest of queens sat at the mirror talking about sad parts of their lives – when Roxxxy Andrews did it in Season 5, it was a fairly new phenomenon, which is why most of the audience, like Ru, were truly shook as she screamed into her hands about being left at a bus stop by her mother when she was five.

…And then Katya reading her for it

And because this is Drag Race, Katya then made fun of her for it years later on All Stars 2.

Charlie Hides’ sad old lip sync for her life

Charlie Hides was around 398 years older than every other competitor on Season 9, had an incredibly irritating transatlantic accent and sucked the fun out of every work room scene, so it’s surprising that she lasted as long as she did.

But underwhelming as she may have been, she deserved better than this sad, old-lady-poking-kids-on-her-lawn lipsync where she totally gave up and just swayed on the spot, presumably while the rest of the queens screamed at Trinity Taylor Simpsons-style to calm down with her death drops because poor elderly Charlie was already dead.

Valentina refusing to take that goddamn mask off

I’m still too heartbroken to really talk about this moment so just watch the video while I scream into a pillow.

PhiPhi’s Party City rant

Every good show needs a true villain, and for RuPaul’s Drag Race that villain is PhiPhi (even though she do love to blame the edits). Her ultimate Cruella DeVill/Scar/Ursula the Sea Hag moment arguably came with this rant against Season 4 winner Sharon Needles, when she told her to “go back to Party City where she belongs”.

Breathe, PhiPhi. Breathe.

The double elimination(s)

There are times – Tatianna vs Alyssa in All Stars 2, obviously – when both contestants throw so much into their LSFYL that Ru relents and lets them both stay. And then there are other times when they’re both so bad that she cracks through the robotic head-tilting shell of her flawless TV persona and sends both them home for being ungrateful lazy bitches.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

It’s happened twice but it’s still as shocking both times. Truly nail-biting stuff.

Alyssa vs Coco-dorito-Montrese

Laganja’s meltdown

Laganja spent most of Season 6 crying and feeling very attacked – culminating in this dramatic moment – while the rest of us spent most of Season 6 feeling very annoyed that Laganja hadn’t gone home yet.

This entire fucked up scene from All Stars

I’m not gonna lie I’ve watched this scene multiple times and to this day I still cannot work out what the fuck is going on except that Tammie Brown lives on her own planet.

Shangela throwing a drink on Mimi Imfurst

I could explain this, but instead here’s Shangela’s amazing speech, which she screams at a frazzled Leigh Bowery-esque Mimi Imfurst, in its entirety, which I will be memorizing to recite at the future wedding of my worst enemies. I saw the fishnets Mimi, and they were ripped:

“I don’t have a sugar daddy, I’ve never had a sugar daddy, if I wanted a sugar daddy, yes, I probably could go out and get one because I am what? Sickening. You could never have a sugar daddy because you.are.not.that.kind.of.girl. Baby everything I have I have worked for and I have got myself. I’ve built myself from the ground up. BITCH.

“You will never be glamour.”

BITCH I AM FROM CHICAGO

Me in any argument ever:

Roxxxy Andrews’ double wig reveal

You should never ever take your wig off during a lip-sync (unless of course you’re Roxxxy Andrews and you’re hiding another, smaller wig underneath that wig).

Backrolls!?

I’ve never been on the edge of my seat more than in this encounter when the queen of all that is good in the world Alyssa Edwards was accused of having backrolls by a fan (name unknown).

When Mimi Imfurst lifted the fuck out of India Farrah

Drag is not a contact sport.

RuPaul vs Pearl

Is there something on my face?

Tatianna’s spoken word poetry which shook us all to our core

There are some challenges on RuPaul’s Drag Race that I’m always forced to watch through my fingers because someone bombs so bad – it’s usually the talent/roast/stand up comedy themed episodes, when someone like Laganja Estranja or Farrah Moan will fail so horribly it’ll feel like we’re there experiencing second hand embarrassment right with them.

When Tatianna said she’d chosen to do a spoken word poetry performance in the first episode of All Stars 2, I genuinely thought it’d be more of that. Which is why, like everyone else, I was truly shook by the magic, artistry and elegance that is her creation – Same Parts.

‘Cause honey what you see, isn’t always a lipsync.

THIS IS NOT RUPAUL’S BEST FRIEND RACE

Me whenever I snake literally anyone and get called out for being a snake.

You look like Linda Evangelista

OK no, no wait. I’m going to recite this speech at the wedding of my worst enemies:

Alaska’s meltdown and katya’s tiny revenge

Alright, this tiny moment is petty as fuck and it’s something that unless you’re a giant nerd tragic superfan you probably missed, but let me explain because it’s amazing and I love it and it sums up the subtly shady nature of RuPaul’s Drag Race entirely.

So, back at the start of All Stars 2, Alaska read Katya for stealing Adore Delano’s look, and then clearly quickly forgot about it. But Katya did not, so when Alaska fucked up the makeover challenge and fully deserved to go home before throwing a tantrum and coming to Katya to help, she responded in the smallest, pettiest, best way possible.

With Adore’s “party” catchphrase.

IT’S SO POINTLESS AND PEDANTIC I LOVE IT.

Tyra’s a complete bitch

Sometimes on reality TV shows the contestants try to look good for the cameras and never say anything bad about each other. And then there’s Drag Race.

Latrice’s blanket dress

So nobody is gonna talk about that time in Untucked when Latrice just took off her dress and sat fully naked with it draped around her like a blanket? Nobody? OK, cool.

When Jocelyn’s makeover partner started throwing up on stage

Poor Jocelyn Fox. She didn’t have the best time during her Drag Race experience. From meeting her idol Courtney Act who read her looks every chance she got to that one wonky eyelash that will haunt her to her grave, there were some low points. It probably didn’t help that during the Drag My Wedding makeover challenge she got matched with Brandon, a pro-basketball player who seemed uncomfortable with the whole experience of y’anno, getting married on reality TV in full drag, and literally threw up during judging.

Poor guy.

When Alaska unfairly stole that All Stars 2 crown

Gimme an Alyssa Katya tie or give me death.

@rosielanners