Why do homework?
Frat boys are like cockroaches — their egos won’t die unless you set out to kill. At least, that was my manifested motto.
This hasn’t been a lifelong motto. In fact, at one point in my life I can say with little regret that I was dreamy-eyed for the worst kind of college stereotype.
Six months ago, I entered the black-hole of college ‘relationships’
The kind of agreement that has very few defined rules. I suppose you could define it as friends-with-benefits, except the “friendship” only began once we were already trading benefits.
I met Jason* at a party. He had a Chad Michael Murry demeanor, with eyes that were almost painful to look at. Our relationship lasted for about four months before both of our frustrations finally reached a breaking point. He was terrified by the idea of liking anybody more than himself, and I was done settling.
He took the mature route of dumping me via text . . . the day after my 21st birthday. And though he was as nice as one can be ending a relationship electronically, he left me with no real explanation other than, “we want different things.” The clichés of the male population never cease to amaze me.
He started telling people I was stupid for taking things personally
Eventually, my compassion was broken when a mutual friend exposed a conversation in which Jason had taken the time to brag about his time with me and reference my ‘stupidity’ as a reason for taking things so personally. Because breakups are nothing personal, right?
I wasn’t upset, I was angry, and I decided I couldn’t wait around for the universe to provide some well deserved karma. So I manifested my own. Revenge is a dish best served to the fuck-boy who screwed you over.
I decided to go Elle Woods on his ass
I began a month of volunteering, taking on leadership roles and internships; This left me with little time to waste dwelling on a toxic relationship, and more time to work on building myself up.
I eventually received enough recognition and clarity to evaluate the the flaws within Jason and the relationship. So I did what every blogger would do in my situation, I wrote about it.
That’s when our story went viral
One weekend I was selected to attend a leadership conference, and I published the post. I poured all my confidence and insecurities into it, and broadcasted it on every social media platform. It was bold and terrifying, but there is power in being unapologetically you.
Within 24 hours of my post going live, I received over 2,000 views on my personal blog; Sorority women from my own university and others were sending messages about how my article was impacting them to make positive changes in their own life. One girl said my article helped her realize her own toxic relationship was holding her back from being a better student.
His entire fraternity read what I wrote about him
Two days later, the views kept coming and by then Jason and his entire fraternity had read my blog. I think they believed they’d uncovered some kind of humorous secret, completely oblivious to the fact that I wanted people to talk. Regardless of what those boys said about me behind closed doors, it was my story that was publicly out there. I’d taken control in defining our story, and people’s reactions would ensure I was the leader of this conversation.
It’s been almost three months since. I run into Jason occasionally, and I make an effort to smile. Before the blog, he avoided me in social situations, but after, he’s actually made an effort to go out of his way to be engaging in social settings but has never formally mentioned the blog.
And then I received an award for it
Two weeks ago, I received an invitation from my university to attend the journalism department’s award ceremony, congratulating me for winning an “Excellence in Published Work” award. My writing started out as an attempt to create a bit of karma and to better understand myself, but it turned into something much more positive and worthwhile than that. It is about showing women that you should trust your gut and have faith in your own potential.
I’m never holding back again.