Um, so maybe you shouldn’t stick this glitter balloon up your vagina….

I have officially seen it all. Somewhere in the deep, dark crevices of the internet, there is a store that sells capsules of glitter for you to shove up your vagina.

The product, called “Passion Dust,” is supposed to add glitter and a “sweet taste” to your vaginal discharge. In case you don’t think this is possible, here is a nice picture of a pocket pussy that is somehow excreting the magic juice:

Even though the store says the Passion Dust is made from FDA-approved materials, there is literally no way this is safe to shove up your vagina. As a general guide, individuals should go down this list to decide if something should be up inside them:

If not, it’s probably not fucking good for you! I am pretty sure everyone would be better off snorting angel dust than using this passion dust.

Maybe the only thing more disturbing than the idea of this up my vagina is the fact that the website routinely refers to vaginas as a  “Yara,” which apparently means little butterfly. No thank you, vaginas are gross skin bags and they are absolutely perfect that way. Somehow glittery snot coming out of a vagina is way worse than regular snot coming out a vagina, like look at this:

But really, DON’T RUIN A GREAT THING. Your vagina is already magical enough without dripping glitter. And you don’t need a sweet taste for someone to go down there! Love yourselves! Or don’t love yourselves — I don’t care. Just don’t do this.