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Cockblocking: When a girl prevents a guy from getting with our friend because she wants us to, trust me
The truth coming to you from the ‘super annoying friend’
Guys will come up with a whole lot of bullshit to excuse the fact they didn’t get laid, the most common being: I totally had her, but her friend wouldn’t stop cockblocking me.
The story usually involves him flirting with a girl and thinking everything is fine, while probably mistaking her being nice so he doesn’t get offended for a green light. Then, suddenly, her “super annoying friend who just wouldn’t leave us alone” shows up and voila, the guy’s been cockblocked. Damn.
Because it was going so well until she came along.
Hate to break it to you, boys — if we’re so-called “cockblocking” you from getting with our friend, it’s because she really really wants us to.
Cockblocking, AKA saving a friend from a guy who won’t leave her alone, comes in many forms because guys will never seem to understand the meaning of the word ‘no’.
Pretending to be lovers
A classic move that works almost every time, unless you hit the douche jackpot who then invites you both back to his for a threesome.
Starting a conversation about periods
Let me tell you about my heavy flow…
Because it’s 2017 and men are still weirded out by the fact we bleed from our vagina every month.
Hopping in on that free drink he just offered to our friend
This is a win-win situation. As he politely offers our friend a free drink, we’ll hop in with a “Gin and tonic for me, please! Thanks!” He’s annoyed, and we both have a free drink.
Maximizing how fucking annoying we can be
Didn’t think it could get worse than bringing up periods? Buddy, you haven’t even heard about every single day of my study abroad trip and how I found myself backpacking in the mountains.
Literally shoving a guy away on the dance floor
Sometimes we have to be really obvious and physically push a grinding guy away from our friend. AND THEN SOMEHOW THEY STILL COME BACK.
Sitting next to our friend in complete silence, just watching
This tactic takes longer, but there will be a point where the guy gets really creeped out of us always being there.
Don’t mind me, I’m just lurking.
Causing an emergency
“Sam’s in the hospital, we need to go NOW!” is girl code for “Let’s bail and get some pizza.”
Just know, whatever it is we’re doing to cockblock you, it’s because it’s our duty.