Fun things every girl should do this 4th of July weekend to make sure thousands don’t die

Ok babes, it’s almost the fourth. We all know what that means — popsicles, water tubing, and celebrating the death of innocents which has occurred since the dawn of the nation. But this year, it gets more personal than Aunt Becky asking you if you are on birth control at the family BBQ.

Last week, the senate unveiled a draft of their Affordable Care Act reforms. The draft bill is said to be “disastrous” to women’s health and could literally kill thousands of people. The vote on the bill has been pushed back until after the 4th, so you know what to do!

Here’s some fun tips to celebrate your patriotism and the U.S. of A. — and hopefully the career death of 50 percent of the senate.

Call up all of your friends (and senators) and have a pool party!

After you invite your friends over to have a splash in the pool, be sure to call up your Republican senator to let them know you don’t support Wealthcare. Lay out your well-founded complaints while you lay out the beach towels and veggie trays for your besties to enjoy. Just remember when you call, the Congressional intern is answering. So after you politely voice your opinion about the mass-murder of innocents, invite them over too!

Here are their phone numbers.

Put on some red, white and blue ombre lipstick, then put your senator’s contact information on your Facebook wall

Ombre lipstick is definitely in. And while Facebook statuses may be out, I promise in today’s social capitalist society, being informed is quantified as equally sexy! If you can spend 25 minutes taking 5,000 photos of yourself in your flag bikini, you can definitely take two minutes to empower your FB friends.

Make some Rice Krispie treats, while making sure your close friends and family understand how people will be affected by the healthcare bill.

Making Rice Krispie treats is almost as easy as talking to everyone in your life about the ramifications of Wealthcare. Here’s a list of pertinent facts to stir up discussion about the newly proposed healthcare bill. After you’ve let the conversation (and the Rice Krispies!) sit for a bit, ask your friends and family to take a bite at calling their senators. It’s sure to be a less sticky experience than the Rice Krispies, TBH.

Put some hot dogs on the grill, while also grilling your senator about why the fuck he thinks the senate healthcare bill is a good idea

The only thing I like to grill more than a ballpark hotdog and a thicc burger is my senator when he suggests it’s ok to legislate the death of millions of people. Here’s some senators who will be holding town halls over the weekend, so you can skewer your senator like you did your chicken kabobs last fourth. Be sure to get the juicy details, so the press can write about his/her lack of morality!

Remember to light off some fireworks – and possibly light up a few copies of the new bill at a protest!

The only thing more beautiful than fireworks lighting up the sky is organized civil resistance. Find a protest going on this Fourth of July weekend to let Congress know the people don’t want an ACA reform.

Sounds lit!