Bumble just copied Tinder’s creepiest feature so I guess I’m deleting my account now
It’s Bumble’s fault I’m gonna die alone
by Amanda Ross
Bumble used to be our oasis. It seemed to attract a slightly higher quality of people than Tinder, forced us to think of clever(ish) opening lines outside of “heyyyy” and — most importantly — we were never at risk of accidentally hitting the stupid fucking Super Like star with our thumb while swiping on the toilet.
But like all good things (pricey lip balms, open bars), it had to come to an end.
The ladies-first app just introduced a ~cOoL nEw FeAtUrE~ called Super Swipe and it’s literally exactly like Super Like. This is what it looks like:
First of all, who (WHOMST!) wants to give someone a mega-like? Does that ever increase the odds of getting a match or message? I’d be willing to bet literally any amount of money (jk just in case) that like boosts have/will result in exactly zero marriages. Maybe some not-planned babies, but no fairytale romances.
Let’s be honest: it’s a money-grab to get coins of weird, desperate dudes who set their radius to 100 miles and have sunglasses on in every picture. And it begs just one question: Why?