Bumble just copied Tinder’s creepiest feature so I guess I’m deleting my account now
It’s Bumble’s fault I’m gonna die alone
by Amanda Ross
Bumble used to be our oasis. It seemed to attract a slightly higher quality of people than Tinder, forced us to think of clever(ish) opening lines outside of “heyyyy” and — most importantly — we were never at risk of accidentally hitting the stupid fucking Super Like star with our thumb while swiping on the toilet.
But like all good things (pricey lip balms, open bars), it had to come to an end.
The ladies-first app just introduced a ~cOoL nEw FeAtUrE~ called Super Swipe and it’s literally exactly like Super Like. This is what it looks like:
First of all, who (WHOMST!) wants to give someone a mega-like? Does that ever increase the odds of getting a match or message? I’d be willing to bet literally any amount of money (jk just in case) that like boosts have/will result in exactly zero marriages. Maybe some not-planned babies, but no fairytale romances.
Let’s be honest: it’s a money-grab to get coins of weird, desperate dudes who set their radius to 100 miles and have sunglasses on in every picture. And it begs just one question: Why?
Eating food isn’t quirky
Public figures who poke fun at themselves for eating are actively creating a dichotomy between themselves and so-described “normal women”
by Una Dabiero
OK, pretend it’s 2010 for a second. Jennifer Lawrence was new to the awards scene, and won the hearts of America with her pizza humor. Stop and think about it — we all loved Jennifer Lawrence not for her admittedly amazing acting abilities and already-prolific career. We stanned because she loved to talk about eating. Female celebrities…
The battle is over, we won. They’ve invented beer ‘for women’ so we can finally drink too
I’ve been so thirsty for so long
by Caroline Phinney
Everyone knows girls and beer are kind of like pineapple and pizza — they don’t belong together (and if you disagree, you can stop reading and unfollow this page right now, turn on your location and meet me in the park with a fistful of quarters). If you go on a date and order an IPA,…
Someone reimagined fast food mascots as sexy men and I’m ready for death to take me
I can never face my family again
by Amanda Ross
I know I throw around “I’m ready for the Lord to take me” a lot, but I don’t think I’ve ever truly meant it until now. The skies weep. The earth is crumbling. The Hamburgler is hot. A Filipino illustrator known only as Ozumii Wizard decided they wanted me to have weird feelings on this otherwise-ok…