If you think about it, Regina George’s mom was actually a tragically misunderstood feminist icon

There are many great, iconic, misunderstood, wretched figures in modern film. Like, I dunno, The Elephant Man, for example, or like, Citizen Kane. Or Mrs. George, the true tragic cinematic hero of our time.

OK, let me explain.

When you first watched Mean Girls, you were young, fresh-faced and probably wore cargo pants and flip flops. And it changed your life. 

It formed your friendships, it was your first meme, its quotes became part of your personality for years after it defined the aughts back in 2004.  And as a young impressionable teen, you probably thought you wanted to have a gay best friend like Damien, never be a slut like Karen, and knew Regina’s mom was an idiot.

Now you’re woke. You know better, right? Regina’s mom was nothing short of an unnamed icon. Because she’s not like a regular mom. She’s a cool mom.

Do you want a little bit? Because if you’re gonna drink, I’d rather you do it in the house

I think when you’re watching this for the first time, you’re supposed to think it’s a terrible, awful, immoral thing that Mrs. George offers the girls alcohol, even though they later go to a house party, drink too much and throw up. You probably did the same, trying and failing to hide from your mom that that stain on the hall carpet isn’t from the dog’s medicine disagreeing with him — it’s from you after two Four Lokos.

Seriously though, teenage girls are more likely to drink than underage boys — and they’re more at risk when they do. Mrs George wasn’t wrong to offer them a few cocktails to drink in a safe, sensible place. She was ahead of her time.

Hey, hey, hey. How are my best girlfriends?

Oh, how awful and annoying, your mom is interested in getting to know you and your friends and being a positive influence as you grow from a girl into a well-rounded young woman.

Mrs. George, you’re doing amazing sweetie.

Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know! Oh, God love ya.

It’s been widely reported that public schools’ piss-poor attempt at sex education is failing us as young women. It’s taught to us way too late by embarrassed, poorly-trained teachers and presents sex as an insurmountable problem, not something that we can enjoy. And when sex education in our schools is that bad — and you can’t exactly turn to porn for a realistic portrayal of female agency — who else do you have? Your mom.

Well, as long as your mom is as sex-positive and understanding as Regina George. I’m 25 and I’ve never talked to my mum about sex, and if she’d caught me in bed with my high-school boyfriend she probably would have cried, not made sure I was having a good time (and using protection).

Make sure you check out her mom’s boob job. They’re hard as rocks!

Mrs. George wears pink velour Juicy Couture tracksuits and low-cut tops. She has a platinum blonde blowout and carries a chihuahua. She looks like she’s more prepared for a night out at Les Deux with Heidi and Audrina than a PTA meeting. She’s not what a mom is supposed to look like, in short.

But fuck that. The parameters for being an “acceptable woman” are fucking small – especially when you’re an older woman — and Mrs. George blatantly disregards societal expectations in her appearance and sexuality. She’s a modern day Lilith, tbh.

Can you believe my effing mom is here?

When the girls get home from school, Mrs. George is there, replete with Shirley Temples and a genuine interest in their lives. When Regina drags herself to the Spring Fling, facing abject humiliation and long term spinal damage, Mrs. George is there. When the girls perform their historic Jingle Bell Rock routine, Mrs. George is there, camera in hand, doing the moves right along with them.

Our teenage years — if collectively, yours were anything like mine — are awkward, lonely times where you feel like you shouldn’t do anything to stand out lest ye be judged by your vicious peers. Having a mega-fan to support you through that, especially if it’s your mom, is nothing to roll your eyes or complain about.

Regina! They’re about to announce the queen!

If you don’t remember the end to Shakespearean classic Mean Girls — obviously you do — Regina suffers a horrific accident which leaves her with a life-changing spinal injury. It’s enough to make anyone hide away forever, but thanks to the strong feminine support of her mother she not only embraces her new look but even goes to prom, bedazzled spinal-column and all.

Openness, progressiveness, support for other women and dressing your body for yourself, not other people – all hallmarks of modern feminism and all embodied in the misunderstood matriarch that is Mrs. George. Perhaps this was Tina Fey’s hidden message all along. Maybe she wanted us to grow up and discover our true hero isn’t Cady or Regina, but Mrs George.

Or also maybe I’m just reading into this too much. Idk.

@rosielanners