The battle is over, we won. They’ve invented beer ‘for women’ so we can finally drink too
I’ve been so thirsty for so long
Everyone knows girls and beer are kind of like pineapple and pizza — they don’t belong together (and if you disagree, you can stop reading and unfollow this page right now, turn on your location and meet me in the park with a fistful of quarters).
If you go on a date and order an IPA, you can rest assured, not only will he never ask you out again, but he’ll probably tell all his friends you’re disgusting. Heck, he might even leave halfway through. What are you, some kind of man?
But today, my friends, we step into the future. A future that is female. A future where women can drink beer in public (as long as it’s cased in marble, and disguised as champagne, because although elegance may be timeless, beer is certainly not).
But the war between well drinks and tap has finally come to a standstill, and we’ve met in the middle ground. A middle ground where the bravest of men attempt wine (red only, followed by a “no homo”) is Aurosa, the world’s first “premium lifestyle beer.” Whatever that means. A beer that is both “elegant” and “sensual.”
Because what would beer be without a disclaimer like that?
It’d be for men, I guess.
Whatever. I’m just glad my beer finally matches my home decor!
DO YOU EVEN REALIZE IT’S FUCKING HALLOWEEN ?!
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*Logs back on*
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