Babe investigates: Drake is trying to prove he’s totally fine with his exes moving on, but he’s clearly not

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Babe investigates: Drake is trying to prove he’s totally fine with his exes moving on, but he’s clearly not

Marvin’s Room Part 2 is coming

Ok, so we’ve all been there before. A really great person just broke things off with you and insists it’s because you’re “too good” for them or you’re “so sensitive” and they “can’t keep going and break your heart.”

Then, a few weeks later, they’re with someone new. And they’re like, with them. They’re posting profile pictures with their new boo, showing them off on Instagram, having sex in a hot tub with a mysterious Middle Eastern billionaire, and going to weddings. Or whatever.

Naturally, you’re crushed. But you need to act like you’re ok. Not just ok — thriving. You go into turbo mode with your Insta game, make sure you have a constantly lit Snapchat story, and start posting humble brag statuses about how great your life is going. But of course, you make sure it doesn’t seem like you’re showing off.

Sometimes, this doesn’t work. Ask Drake. The rapper has returned to his Take Care look, which freaked fans the fuck out. He must be broken-hearted if he’s reverting back to Marvin’s Room Drake.

He swapped a goblet of wine for a glass of brown liquor. He is hurting.

And like, of course he’s broken-hearted. The badass women he dated have all moved on recently. He literally can’t date someone better than Rihanna.

Drake’s been trying to pretend he’s ok on Social Media, but he’s 100% not ok. We know because he’s been trying so hard to be rich and hot lately — and that’s not something he needs to try at.

He was definitely trying to look like his finances are thriving with this Degrassi post.

With this $8 post, he’s trying to a) make headlines, b) make a joke to show what a FUN N SILLY GUY he is, and subtly remind us of how rich he actually is. Drake doesn’t need $8 the way I so desperately do. Drake isn’t so deep in an overdraft it’s gonna take a whole paycheck to get out of the negative. Drake didn’t get his card declined on a McFlurry this week. ….I didn’t either. Just saying. Whatever.

Degrassi money still coming in don't sleeeeeeeep…???????

A post shared by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on Jul 18, 2017 at 1:41am PDT

If those checkz didn’t convince you he’s rich, he also posted a photo of himself in a Louis Vuitton jacket.

Look what you’re missing out on, Serena, as if you couldn’t afford Louis Vuitton on your own.

?

A post shared by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on Jul 10, 2017 at 1:32pm PDT

He’s trying to remind everyone how hot he is with these super Photoshopped selfies.

There’s no way his skin is that smooth. You used the blur tool, Aubrey!

Night Owl

A post shared by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on Jul 17, 2017 at 6:16pm PDT

But the most convincing evidence Drake is 100% not ok are his shady captions.

Girls can’t be pretty and have a great personality, right Drake? That would make them leaving you way too hard.

Pretty girls seem to get their way…even if they don't have much to say

A post shared by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on Jul 14, 2017 at 9:35pm PDT

I feel kinda bad for Drake. We’ve all been there and he will literally never find another woman as great as the ones he’s already loved and lost. But maybe the worst part of this whole thing is he has publicists who should’ve told him not to be so pouty.

Honestly, if we can blame anything for Drake being a dramatic downer all over our feeds other than his publicists, it’s his star sign. We should’ve all realized by now he’s a Scorpio

Let’s just hope we get an album out of this emotional mess. I’m down for Marvin’s Room II.