I could only find one person who cares about Katy Perry hosting the 2017 VMAs
I wonder where all her really real Twitter followers are now
You know that zit that just won't go away? You've given it enough attention by picking and popping that you've decided to let it live and breathe on your face until it finally decides it's not wanted. Maybe my mom was right, you think, maybe the secret is ignoring it.
But alas, weeks will go by and there it is – constantly reminding you that it's not going anywhere anytime soon.
Kind of like Katy Perry these past couple months.
After her new album completely flopped, the singer-songwriter tried everything to convince us she's kind of a big deal – from weekend-long livestreams and brunches with Joanne the Scammer to rating her ex-boyfriends in bed.
And yet, I forgot she existed until I saw the announcement that she's hosting the 2017 MTV Video Music Awards.
You'd think that news would shake some people up, right? The VMAs were basically our entire childhood. Ah, just me then. Moving on.
I waited for the news to fester for a good 20 minutes to track the Twitter world's response, fully expecting mixed reactions.
Of course, some people weren't happy at all
But you'd think Katy still had some loyal fans left. After all, she is the most followed person on Twitter.
And ta-da, there they were. All one of them
Even after waiting another 20 minutes for more fans to see the news, nothing.
It's easier getting a fuckboy to text me back than it is finding people to care about Katy Perry hosting the VMAs, and that's a fact.
If you manage to find another ecstatic fan who gives a fuck, @ me and I'll try to get the two of them in touch.
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