Everything you know if you have a great face and an ‘ehh’ body
Selfies will never go out of style for me
by Una Dabiero
There’s a whole faction of us out there who stare in a full-length mirror and think “ehh, I’m OK,” but then proclaim our personal beauty when we take a Snapchat selfie five minutes later. When I am staring at my pores in a magnifying mirror, I am pretty sure I’m an angel-faced goddess. But as soon as I get tagged in a bikini pic online, I go back to thinking I could probably do better.
If you’re a body neutral kind of gal who is sure you have a hot face (and it’s basically your favorite part of yourself), this one’s for you. Here’s everything you know if you have a great face and an ehh body.
Selfies will never go out of style
When you have a pretty face and an OK bod, you don’t care the golden age of selfies was definitely 2012. Selfies will always be your best friend, because while you look fine in full-body shots, selfies are where your face shines. I will be 50 and posting selfies on my robot, and I am not ashamed.
You’re pretty sure you’d be a goddess if you just worked out more
Your face is super pretty, so you know that if you worked out or cared about your health, you would truly be the whole package. But like, that’s a lot of work and you still pull guys, so it’s not really worth it. I’ll keep being lazy, thank you!
You know the world is split into face guys and body guys
Forget the butt versus boob argument. The true factions of men are face guys and body guys. You know this because you got dumped by a guy for a girl with a hot bod and a reptilian face. She literally looked like a velociraptor. He was obviously a body guy.
You have no idea how to position your body in pictures
You know exactly how to get those sharp cheekbone edges in every picture you take, but your body still looks like a brick in literally every shot. You never really took the time to learn how to position your body because you know your face should really be the focal point of every visual representation of you. As a result, you’re used to untagging yourself in basically every awkward candid and group pic on Facebook.
Snapchat is your best friend
As previously stated, selfies are kind of your thing. And nothing makes a better selfie than Snapchat filters. You didn’t know your angelic face could look cuter until you discovered the dog filter, and now you’ll never let that app go. If I had to choose between deleting the last living picture of my dead family and Snapchat, you better believe I’d be sending sad selfies with the deer filter to make my tear-drenched eyes bigger.
a snapchat filter instantly takes a girl from being a 2 to a 10 🙈📸
— Ria Williams (@riawilliamss) July 28, 2017
Your skincare routine is much more important to you than your diet
Honestly, you’ve already accepted that your body is ehh, so what’s the point of dieting? Your face is where it’s at, so you take care of it with obsessive lemon scrubs and weekly lush facial masks.
You invest way too much money in makeup
Since your face is kinda the most important part of your look, you aren’t worried about dropping basically all of your income on products to make it look even better than it does au naturale. You spend most of your days in Sephora, buying tools to step up your contour game and investing in anti-aging creams so you never destroy your pride and joy.
Your hairstyle can change your life
When you hinge your whole look on your face, you know how important a good haircut is. A bad hairstyle can turn you into a pumpkin-head and destroy your confidence quicker than a man ever could. You have a singular hair-lady you love more than most of your relatives and you appreciate her so much you will make casual conversation with her when you really just want to sit in silence like every time you’re in an Uber.
You’re always called ‘pretty’ or ‘beautiful’ but never ‘hot’
You’ve accepted an unfortunate part of our society: lots of people think bods are the sexiest part of someone and fail to recognize how hot the properly placed facial expression can be. Catch me with guys who recognize the importance of sexy lips and eyes, thanks.
Man: what's your best feature you'd say?
Me: my face. Have you seen it?!
— Sienna Brown. (@ItsJewsie) July 3, 2017
You make yourself feel better by saying your beauty won’t fade
Whenever you’re feeling down on yourself for having an ehh body, you remind yourself that while boobs may sag and thighs may gather cellulite over the years, your face will be cute forever. You’re suddenly super happy you don’t hinge your body-confidence on the tightness of your ass and hope your body is mediocre forever.
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