sex IRL •
Sex IRL: The birthday girl serving up more than just cake
‘He knows something is up, but isn’t mad about it’
Sex IRL is a series by babe dedicated to detailing the ups, downs and in-betweens of real girls’ sex lives. It’s unfiltered, graphic and, most importantly, real. This week, a bartending birthday girl who tries out lingerie for the first time.
10 a.m. I’m at an internship when my mom texts me about taking me and my boyfriend, who we’ll call Blondie out for lunch for my birthday. I have no other real plans (other than dreaming about the expected birthday sex), so I agreed.
Noon Texted Blondie asking if he had any plans for my birthday. He says no, so I get suspicious, but move on with my work.
6 p.m. Blondie calls whining that he’s horny after I sent him a half nude post nap Snapchat. We’re long distance, and tomorrow is one of the first days I get to see him in a long while. As much as texting, snapping and talking are nice, sometimes just plain ol’ sex is needed. That’s where we’re at.
8 a.m. I wake up in my apartment sure of three things: I have manual labor to do today, tomorrow is my birthday, and I’m prepared for the sex.
11 a.m. I’m working at an event production company and they choose the one 90 degree day of the week to clean the trash-hole that is the warehouse. I’ve been cleaning for about an hour now — it’s not the down and dirty I prefer — but it’s something. I get a text from Blondie, he’s excited to see me and my “birthday cake” tonight.
3 p.m. I get done cleaning the warehouse, wash the endless layers of dirt off my body, and drive to bartend drunk bikers for the next part of the night. Mind you, it’s still hot and humid; I’m pretty sure my jeans are my skin at this point.
8 p.m. If my jeans were a second skin, sweat has now become the third. It’s closing time and I’m about ready to sneak some wine to make it through this shift. As soon as I collect my tips, I’m gone.
9 p.m. Blondie finally comes over and I whine that I “need” help getting out of my jeans. Next thing I know I’m on the bed, pants off; I’m not complaining. It might not be my birthday yet, but my pre-birthday cake could use a good slapping.
9 a.m. BIRTHDAY BITCH DAY. Time to pick up Blondie and get lunch with my mom.
Noon We’re getting lunch at a damn good local Mexican joint. And since it’s my birthday, I’m in one hell of a cute little grey dress. Even without the drinks I was dancing and shaking along to mariachi music. About ten minutes of that and I’ve got myself going crazy because I’m well aware Blondie is turned on. There’s nothing better than putting that boy’s boner in suspense.
1 p.m. We’re back from lunch and Blondie suggests we go shopping, which he usually hates. I hate it too, but have some trips coming up and needed some things so I agree. Then he makes a deal with me saying we’ll go to Victoria Secret. Okay, no big deal, what girl can’t use some new thongs?
3 p.m. I’ve been purposely avoiding the side of the mall that has VS in it, but we finally come upon the store. We started joking about lingerie, something I’ve wanted to get but have been too scared to try out. He encourages me to at least try on a couple.
3:15 p.m. I’ve got two pieces picked out that I think I might be able to pull off: A maroon babydoll, and a blue teddy. Blondie hands me his credit card, tells me to take pictures of both, buy the one I want, but not tell him. Horny devil is playing a game on himself.
3.30 p.m. It’s the blue teddy. I’ve never felt closer to a model than with these small strings of fabric. It’s got a corset bodice that makes my small boobs look cute, and a string for the butt to make my “cake” look huge. So, I’ve got some lingerie for myself. And a good dicking in the wings.
8 p.m. We’ve been with my family all day, and Blondie has to go home soon. Chances of putting on my new goods and showing off are slim to none. I guess the boner suspense continues.
9 a.m. Post birthday sex isn’t looking good today, either. Blondie and I both work all day. But, since we work at the same place I can at least can continue the suspense. It’s not hard: bend over a little, pop a hip out, do some hair flips, whisper “hey daddy” a couple times; simple.
11 a.m. It’s working well, he’s definitely hot and bothered. I think what drew him into horny-as-hell territory was sending a video from when I was in the VS dressing room.
6 p.m. We’re both tired, cranky, and hungry — the mood has been killed.
9 a.m. Starting the day bright and early with a plan.
11 a.m. He knows something is up, but isn’t mad about it. He’s reciprocated the butt grabs. We make plans for him to come over tonight — he’s going to spend the night.
4 p.m. I leave work and tell Blondie to be ready for a surprise and dinner when he gets home. I see his eyes light up and can only imagine what’s running through his head.
9 p.m. I’ve got dinner made when he gets home, but that’s not the important part. His “surprise” is hidden under my seemingly normal outfit: his black t-shirt and my jeans; the teddy. As we eat, he’s looking around for hints, trying to work it all out.
9:30 p.m. We’re done with dinner and Blondie heads to the bathroom. I whip off my clothes, hop on the bed, and wait.
9:40 p.m. Blondie comes in the room, stops, and drops his jaw. This is the best reaction I could have imagined. The next moment he’s crawling on top of me, absolutely worshiping every inch of my body. He tears the teddy off of me, and slides in despite the summer heat. It was well worth the wait.
10 a.m. We wake up cuddling and I couldn’t be happier. It’s a good day for a lazy day, and that’s exactly the plan.
Noon The teddy gets thrown on again as I make an at home strip show. Sometimes, it’s just hard not to feel it when that one song comes on. Grinding, lap dances, more grinding; damn this makes me feel sexy.
1 p.m. And the outfit is gone again. But, I still feel the aura of sexiness. I don’t know why, but on and off my body that lingerie makes me feel like a fucking goddess. And Blondie is feeling it too. I’m normally not one to be dominant, but today I’ve hopped on top more times than not. It’s been rougher, harder and louder than ever.
4 p.m. We haven’t stopped. Clothes on, clothes off; repeat. If that’s how the rest of he night goes, I’m not going to complain, we’re both going to get the sex fill we needed before I go.
8 a.m. I have to leave again. He’s still half asleep and unclothed when I pack up my car. This time, I’ll only be gone for a couple weeks, thankfully. I kiss his cheeks and down his neck in an attempt to wake Blondie up, to no avail. Next, the stomach and thighs, still no avail. It’s probably for the better, I’ve got to book it to make it on time anyways.
Noon I’m back home and back to my professional world. Time to momentarily forget about sex and lingerie and Blondie, which is hard when all my day consists of is transferring files and reviewing proposals.
5 p.m. Alright, off the clock. It’s never to early for to start teasing him. I get back to my apartment, strip down to a newly bought thong (thanks Blondie) and snap a quick pic for him to see when he goes on break. Here we go again.
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