If you haven’t gotten a text back after this long, you probably won’t get one
He’s not ‘busy’
Last night, while sweating bullets, panic-eating Hot Cheetos and then sweating more bullets, I found myself three Google pages deep in articles about the benefits of texting back. And I almost convinced myself. Almost. Just before reality came flying out of nowhere and smacked me upside the goddamned head.
This particular reality triggered by a survey conducted by Hinge, in which they studied users as a means of finding out if there are, in fact, proven benefits to double-texting. And interestingly, they found that there are. You know, if you’re a push-over.
The survey revealed that the g-spot when it comes to hitting “send” on that second text comes 4 minutes after sending the first one.
After that, the blue double-text line just kind of keels over, like a boner right after she says “So you like teeth, right?”
But, what’s infinitely more interesting about this chart is the pink line — the “single text” line. Look at it drop from a 55 percent chance (which is weak to begin with) at a text back, to a 38 percent chance in just half an hour.
If he’s hasn’t texted back within thirty minutes, put your phone away
You’re probably not going to hear from him. And if you do, it’ll be half-assed.
To be honest though, I don’t think we should be that surprised. We are, because we want to be, but in 2017 do you really believe that if he hasn’t answered a text in three hours it’s because he’s “busy” with something else??
If someone says “work” is the reason they can’t look at their phone, they’re lying — nobody works a nine-hour day without looking at their phone. I don’t care if you’re in a meeting with the CEO, I bet you’re glancing at the screen anyway.
It’s time to put to rest the idea that someone is excusably “busy” when they’re not texting back. When they text you, you get all smiley and literally cannot wait to respond, so if they’re not texting you back within thirty minutes to an hour, they’re not as into you.
POLL: Look at your childhood TV crushes now and tell me if you still think they’re hot
This is just heart-shattering
by Ari Bines
I've had a recent epiphany. After scrolling through Twitter news on reboots of Sister, Sister, The Mickey Mouse Club, and an Are You Afraid of the Dark? film coming to theatre near you, I've concluded that millennials are clearly the generation that had the best teen television shows. But now that I'm done reminiscing the…
You’re about to become an absolute sex demon next week — and you can blame it all on the moon
That potent cosmic energy
by Caroline Phinney
As a water sign, I already blame a lot of things on them moon: my emotions, my mood, my inability to be open and intimate with the people I care about most. It's nice — like a giant floating orb-shaped scapegoat that I'm allowed to blame all my shortcomings on. But, us water signs are…
This girl ghosted her boyfriend of FIVE YEARS and now I feel like I just got ghosted too
‘I disappeared from his life’
by Harry Shukman
A contender for the single most brutal ghosting emerged yesterday – a woman who left her boyfriend of five years after catching him in bed with his ex.She walked out on him, deactivated her Facebook, changed her number, then ended her lease and moved to a new city. She never spoke to him again.The story was…