This boob-sweat stopper has us wondering if science has gone too damn far
*sweats nervously about the future of society*
by Una Dabiero
If you have big boobs, you know boob sweat is definitely a thing. I mean, you lug around bouncing balls of fat all day, of course that happens. And it being the heat of summer has everyone on Facebook is freaking out about Ta-Ta Towel, a company who claim they have the perfect remedy for our tit spit. But honestly, I think this is social entrepreneurship gone too far.
So, the Ta-Ta Towel is essentially a towel you wrap around your neck, then cradle your boobs in. It holds your breasts away from your chest/abdomen, which probably provides a nice little breeze to the underboob, but it just doesn’t seem useful for a few reasons.
First, you can literally only wear this when you’re stationary. They advertise it as perfect for getting ready, like while putting your makeup on or tweezing your eyebrows or something. But as soon as you try to walk anywhere in this thing, I guarantee your tits fall out.
Also, why would I need something to stop boob sweat when I am standing stationary in my air-conditioned home? That is not when I am sweating! Give me a boob sweat remedy for while I’m on a run. Now that would be revolutionary.
Honestly, I’m not even sure this makes sense for stopping stationary sweat. Why is all of the towel on the top of the boob? That’s not what sweats! It would be more useful to have a sling to hold up the underboob.
Ta-Ta Towel is just a crude example of capitalism as a driving for senseless invention. I don’t need something to hold my tits up while I’m standing still. I have something that holds me up anytime of the day and that’s called a bra. Next!
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