When did using condoms become a ‘maybe’ thing?

Have you ever been in the midst of hooking up with a guy and use a condom without thinking because, duh, that’s what you should do? But then morning rolls around, his boner is pressed against you and common sense goes out the window. All of a sudden you’re raw-dogging it at 7 a.m. with no regard for the consequences.

Why is it that we only care about our sexual health sometimes? Why is it that in one moment we’re demanding he wrap it up and the next we’re allowing him unprotected entry?

We all know sex is better without condoms but unless you’re in a committed, exclusive relationship and there is no doubt in your mind you’re only fucking each other, WRAP. IT. UP. My friend made a good point once — “if he’s not using one with you he’s probably not using one with everyone else he’s fucking.” Just because he promises that you’re the only one or says he’s clean doesn’t mean he’s telling the truth and really, is risking our own health worth the five minutes of morning missionary?

No, it’s not.

What is it that causes us to go from smart about sexual health to disregarding it completely? How many times have you had sex once protected and then figured you didn’t need a condom anymore? How many times have you used condoms every time you’ve hooked up sober but then drunk you’re like “eh who cares?” Or how many times have you thought “well, if we have shower sex then it’s sort of like the water is the protection?”

Is it the thought that if we don’t use one, we’ll lose them? Are we scared that using condoms makes us just another notch and by not using them it actually bonds us? That somehow by going skin to skin it’ll trigger something inside them that will make them want to keep us? Or, is it simply that we’re too lazy to lean over and grab one from our nightstand? Is it really that simple — laziness?

Maybe it’s subconscious — often it seems like whenever sex takes place in a movie or TV show, protection is the last thing on anyone’s mind. Maybe we take in so much content sans protection that subconsciously, we think it’s fine. In fact, condoms are so rarely mentioned on TV it’s easy to assume that everyone is doing it without one — something that viewers of Insecure noted this past week when two characters had sex seemingly without using condoms.

But Issa Rae quickly took to Twitter to show viewers that condoms were there in the scenes, even if not spoken about. She even takes it a step further and promises they will do better when it comes to protection and making note of it next season. Honestly, it boggles my mind that more shows and movies don’t make a conscious effort to bring protection into the conversation. And good on the viewers for standing up for sexual health and demanding better.

I know how easy it is to get swept up in the moment and let your feelings for someone overtake your logical thought, but especially in today’s dating climate where you could be a “thing,” “talking” or “hanging out,” it’s better to be safe than sorry. Unless you know for certain that you’re the only one your partner is entering. But even if your partner claims they’re clean they might not even be aware that they have something.

Sex does feel better without condoms, but sacrificing your sexual health for what could end up being a lousy lay isn’t only sad, it’s irresponsible. And if a guy is insisting on not using one and won’t fuck you if you make him wear one then WALK. THE. FUCK. OUT. No guy should be pressuring you into going unprotected and he is certainly not worth risking your health for.

Dick is disposable. Your health is not.

@jenniferficarra