High-tech vibrators for when you want to feel like you’re fucking a robot

"To boldly go where no man has gone before" is the mission of the SS Enterprise and also my motto when it comes to personal pleasure.

There are things a man just can't do that a vibrator can. And nowadays, with the technology we have, there are things high-tech vibrators do that regular vibrators and dildos just can't.

Companies are looking for new and exciting ways to deliver personal pleasure and some of their tech is seriously futuristic if not entirely out of a sci-fi movie. If you're fine with a regular old vibrator then ignore me but if you want to start living in 3017 you should seriously consider investing in one of these high-tech sex toys and bring your orgasm into a new century.

Vesper

Even the name is sleek, sophisticated and futuristic sounding. Created by LoveCrave, the Vesper is rechargeable through USB, can be custom engraved, easy to clean, and — here's the kicker — can be worn incognito as a necklace. If that's not some Inspector Gadget shit then I don't know what is.

HELLO TOUCH X

OK, so it looks like those things you put on your fingers during a polygraph but better… way better. HELLO TOUCH X lets your fingers roam all over your body, providing electro-stimulation or vibration – whichever you prefer. Rechargeable via USB, HELLO TOUCH X lets you finger, fondle, pinch, prod, and stroke wherever you fucking want.

Lush

Nothing says high-tech like using an app to get yourself off or more specifically, letting your lover use an app to get you off. Lush by Lovense works like a typical vibrator but you and whoever you want getting you off can download an app that puts the user in control. Now your boyfriend can get you wet from the comfort of his own office. Kinky. Oh, and did I mention you can sync it to music?

Lioness

If there was an alpha female vibrator, the Lioness would be it. The vibrator comes with its own app that allows it to transmit info about your body — like a FitBit but for sexual stimulation. It tells you things like how long it takes you to orgasm, whether your body reacts better in the morning or at night, and it even tells you how you can improve your technique. Basically, it tells us all the shit we should know about our bodies but don't. Knowledge is power and the Lioness is about to give you a whole lot of sexual power. Use it wisely.

HUM

This new gem was created by physicists and is legitimately a form of Artificial Intelligence. I'm not fucking kidding. The HUM vibrator has body response technology which basically means this artificial thing is intelligently recording your movements and responding to them accordingly. It has Qi wireless charging, no cords needed, and it responds to your body. So you wanna thrust? It'll go faster. You want it harder? All you have to do is squeeze. Who needs a man when you've got HUM?

If you're feeling more Star Trek than usual and want a truly futuristic sexual experience, one of these sex toys is sure to do the trick. May the force be with you and your orgasm.

@jenniferficarra