I’ll call you daddy
If you haven't spent days in an existential crisis about whether or not the extent for your thirst for 20-year-old KJ Apa, the star of Riverdale, is OK or not then you're clearly not human. In fact, if you're not salivating for this human Adonis statue then what the fuck is wrong with you? It's okay to drool over him the way you would an ice-cream cone on a hot day. The ovaries want what the ovaries want and they want KJ.
Not only is it OK to be thirsty for KJ Apa but it's okay to be publicly, unabashedly thirsty for the sexy New Zealander who… well… why don't you just see for yourself.
Better buy yourself a 24-pack of water before we keep going because you're about to be so dehydrated someone's gonna have to take you to the emergency room.
Oh, did I forget to mention that he totally, 100 percent wants you to call him Daddy? According to Toofab, KJ says "the new goal in life is to be called Daddy." You can be my Daddy anytime, KJ.
KJ Apa has changed the game. He's changed the rules. And he has single-handedly exploded millions of ovaries around the world.
Whether you're 18, 25 like me, or anywhere in between, it's OK to be thirsty for him because a woman has needs and sometimes those needs are met by a bottle ginger with an accent and abs to wash your clothes on. And you know what? That's OK. So he can't legally drink yet, so what? If you can't drink, then that doesn't matter anyway! And if you can drink do you really need alcohol when just looking at him makes you feel drunk? Don't be ashamed of your thirst, embrace it. I mean… how could you not…
The teaser for season two of Riverdale just dropped. Make sure to tune in to see more of Daddy. In the meantime, no one would blame you for following his Instagram, shutting your door, and having "you time." Seriously… no one would blame you. At all. In fact, it'd be a sin to not thirst after him.
KJ Apa, the Daddy of all Daddies.