You burn off an entire shot of tequila every time you masturbate

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You burn off an entire shot of tequila every time you masturbate

Next round is on me

Softball is one of the worst sports in the world (second, only, to baseball).

You’ve got an aggressive wannabe pro dad screaming at you from the sidelines while you draw in the sand, your mom bribing you to finish out the game with hotdogs, and some girl who’s actually good at the game, gently, but persuasively, threatening you to remove yourself from the roster.

Buy why put yourself through the emotional turmoil when you could masturbate instead, and burn the same amount of calories you’d burn in two innings of hell?

So how many calories is that exactly? It’s the same amount of calories you pack on with every shot of tequila.

Experts have done the math, and while we’re still not exactly sure how (is there a Fitbit for your vagina?), they’ve come to the conclusion that the average woman burns 70 calories while masturbating.

With the average session somewhere between 10-15 minutes, unless you’re really sleepy and want to get it over with, or edging because you know you won’t get that kind of attention elsewhere, the amount of calories you’ll burn will differ. But you can depend on it usually being somewhere between 60 – 80.

And, with a shot of tequila averaging 69 calories, next time someone yells “Rounds!” you won’t have to feel guilty.

@carolinephinney