You are a snack and he is ‘stashing’ you — the shitty dating trend you’ve been totally oblivious to

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You are a snack and he is ‘stashing’ you — the shitty dating trend you’ve been totally oblivious to

Sorry, but you’re still single

You’re soooo into him. You know it’s only been three months (stop bringing it up), but you can’t remember a time you guys weren’t together. The emojis have disappeared from the names of Tinder-one-timers in your phone, there’s (almost) no need for a ‘DON’T TEXT’ reminders next to your ex, and you’re pretty sure you can convince him cities are better than suburbs, even if it’ll make raising the kids a bit more difficult.

Now? There’s just one tiny, little, itty-bitty nagging thing left on your check list: You haven’t met his friends.

“It’s probably fine,” you tell yourself, “They probably know all about me.” Except that one time Jason texted asking about Maggie, and maybe he actually meant you, *Macie.

He’s stashing you.

It doesn’t matter if he’s made it official, spends time with you, has a red heart next to you on snap and treats you like a damn princess. If he hasn’t taken the time to introduce you to his friends, free yourself, because you’re definitely single.

Even if you’re not a side chick, you’re not The One™.

He’s probably stashing you if

• He suggest staying in a lot
• When you go out, it’s usually at night, and usually one on one
• He doesn’t post pictures of you on social media
• His friends haven’t added you on social media
• He says things like “I can’t tonight, I’m going out with friends”

He’ll keep pretending it’s about getting to know you better, and you’ll keep believing it, but the fact that you haven’t met his friends is weird. If he really liked you, he’d be excited to show you off, and he’d want to go out with your friends also.

Of course everyone needs a few dates before acting couple-like in a group, but if enough weeks have passed and he still hasn’t brought you out with his friends, he’s not going to change his tune down the line. They don’t know he’s with you, and neither does he.

Either he’s not as into you . . . oooooor he lied to his friends about what’s been going on.

And to think, you got rid of all your cushions for that.

@carolinephinney

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