Can hackers please leak my nudes next? I’m trying to get a text back
I didn’t struggle with poses for them to just sit on my iPhone
by Jenn Ficarra
Recently, a new string of celebs including Kristen Stewart, Katharine McPhee, and Miley Cyrus all had their private nudes leaked to the public.
Listen, I get the whole "hot girls never talked to me so I'm going to get revenge by leaking hot famous girls nudes" type of crazy these hackers live by, but can I make one request?
Celebs already have enough attention. How about instead of violating their rights, you just leak my nudes instead? I give consent where they don't!
Look, I put a lot of time, effort, and body contorting into my photos. Do you know what it takes to find the right lighting and to angle my body in a way to make it seem that I'm ten pounds lighter? Do you think I casually wear black lace underwear around my apartment for kicks? It takes a lot of time, sweat, and energy to put together a semi-decent nude for a guy who will screenshot it on Snapchat and then never ask you to hang out.
Why commit a sex crime when you could give back to the community (me) instead? Give something to those of us who sit at home waiting for him to comment "niiiice" but instead end up falling asleep to Golden Girls reruns.
Why is it celebrities who get their nudes leaked never seem to be able to afford a phone with a decent camera?
— Emily (@Emilyonelba) August 23, 2017
If you don't want nudes leaked don't take nudes More this week: To avoid being robbed, own nothing at all To avoid murder, die right now
— Feminist (@ltsFeminism) August 12, 2017
Give the people something to hope for — give us our nudes leaked so we have a chance of that guy texting us back. We're proud of our bodies, nudity is beautiful, and if you want to show the world a girl trying to get a "peach" emoji text back, show them real people's nudes. Enough with celeb nudes.
We get it, they're celebs and they're just like us.
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