Be on guard for the ‘nice’ guy – the sneakiest type of fuckboy you will ever come across

We're all familiar with the stereotypical douche canoe. The beer-guzzling, jam-band-listening, "u up?"-texting bro. But there's a more dangerous type out there, the one who flies under the radar as the "nice" guy. He's the one who acts shy and unassuming when you befriend him, but guilts you for leading him on once you turn down his offer for drinks. He's the dude who claims to have been repeatedly left heartbroken by "crazy" ex-girlfriends, but goes off on angry tangents about girls liking assholes instead of nice guys like him. Lol.

Beware the 'nice' innocent nerd

Perhaps most notably, he's the all-American hero of nearly every coming-of-age movie you've seen. The awkward, horny, borderline stalker protagonist on an Odyssean adventure to his getting laid. And I emphasize his getting laid, because nowhere in this cinematic or real life narrative is there any consideration for the unsatisfied girl who will inevitably bring this guy to premature climax. 

With every American Pie movie or repetition of the phrase, "boys will be boys!", society teaches us to sympathize and encourage the awkward (read: creepy) dude as he pressures some incredibly cool, attractive girl to fuck him. Bonus points if he does something super sleazy along the way, like secretly record their hookup and livestream it. You're the man, bro! It's funny, because the poor guy deserves to get laid, right?!

Cool you like haikus, still don't wanna fuck you

No guy deserves sex from a woman simply for wanting it. Nope. He doesn't get a sympathy fuck for reading lots of poetry or being the dorky kid in high school. Being awkward and wanting to stick your dick in something isn't an affliction. Yeah, boo hoo, girls are just so mean for not helping every horny "nice" guy get some, aren't we?

And this isn't about girls getting off on rejecting men, though that is another common accusation. We don't hang around bars solely to sniff out genuine, well-intentioned guys and crush their egos for sport, spinning away on your stilettos and releasing an Ursula-like laugh as you brag to your gal pals about destroying yet another male soul.

This is about men feeling entitled to sex, and women being guilted, or worse yet, facing harassment, every damn time we don't reciprocate interest. Especially when he's a *gasp* nice guy.

Pressuring girls for sex isn't endearing, it's assault

It's probably fair to assume that every guy considers himself to be a nice guy. You'd have to be pretty fucking brazen to actively identify as a shithead. Yet we wonder why women still face so much harassment on dating apps, or why a staggering 1 in 5 women experience sexual assault on college campuses. Perhaps the answer is a lot simpler and more inconspicuous than expected. 

See, the longer we perpetuate this seemingly innocent narrative that every "nice" dude deserves sex and every woman who denies it is a cruel tease, we continue to lay the foundation for something far more dangerous. We effectively mitigate and romanticize a culture where objectification, verbal and physical violence against women is normalized.

It's not our duty to boost men's egos, or offer up our attention and our bodies simply because it is desired.

So to the "nice" guy who evades the frat bro stigma and thus feels entitled to every woman's affection: no, you aren't an exception because the popular girl turned you down in high school and you sent a donation to Planned Parenthood that one time. Sex and attraction require mutual reciprocation. You aren't a victim. And if you truly believe every woman who rejects you is an evil bitch, grow up and get a grip. Speaking of which, quit jerking off to her profile pic — she really is too good for you, bruh.