It’s not up for debate: These are the most iconic ‘Gossip Girl’ moments of all time
You know you love them
by Jenn Ficarra
The flip-phones and headbands may look dated, but Gossip Girl, celebrating its 10th anniversary this week, is still sharp and relevant as ever.
Try to listen to that MySpace-ready "Mmmm whatchya saaaay" verse without getting Vietnam-style PTSD flashbacks of Serena and Tripp Vanderbilt's hookup. Try to picture how we'd ever creep on our sluttiest friends before Snapchat's Gossip Girl-inspired Snap map. Try to imagine a world where your brain doesn't automatically put "Yuki" after the name "Nelly."
So now, as we do with all great cultural stalwarts, let's join silk-gloved hands and take a walk down memory avenue to relive the most iconic moments from a most iconic show:
"Your sweet potatoes are bland."
Thanksgiving episodes are just a really great opportunity to seat every character who's ever fucked across from each other before deploying a text-scandal pipe bomb to make everyone fight and/or fuck again. This episode in particular was hoisted to legendary heights by the addition of Whatcha Say, the song that launched a thousand memes before we even knew what memes were.
"Prohibition never stood a chance against exhibition. It's human nature to be free. And no matter how long you try to be good, you can't keep a bad girl down."
And thus, a power couple was born. The first Blair/Chuck hookup is arguably the most iconic moment in GG history. To this day, the aggressively Californian Sum 41 chorus "I WANT YOU TO KNOOOOW" is still my greatest sexual trigger. It's like turning on a faucet, I swear.
"I'm gay and so are you."
Blair and Eric teaming up to take down Jenny and Asher? Blair reminded us why she's the Queen B and Eric reminded us that he's still a relevant member of this cast and can occasionally make us care about something other than the poor application of his pull-cap highlights.
"I killed someone."
We didn't know the full story at the time, but when Serena confessed to being a saucy little murderess we all gasped. It's worth noting that this was the golden age of Serena, firmly between Blake Lively's second and third nose jobs.
"Til death do us part."
Death! Sex! Sexy death! Even though we knew Gossip Girl would never kill off a fan favorite, it was still good to have a possible death plot point for the fan-fiction/porn playing on a constant loop in our heads before bedtime.
"Once. But it was in a movie so that doesn't count."
Coupled by the ingenious scoring of a T.I. cover song, the Vanessa-Hillary Duff-Dan threesome was utterly ridiculous and only saved by the novelty of watching Lizzie McGuire get it in. This is how I imagine the writers' room conversation went: "Hey what if Hot Vanessa and Hot Hillary both really wanted to have sex with a nerd?" mused the nerd writer.
"I shouldn't have done that."
We get it, Jenny, you're edgy now. My 16-year-old self was fully in awe of her "guerrilla fashion show" but then again my 16-year-old self thought those F21 tanks that say "Go away if U R not pizza <3" were cool too.
"A man doesn't try to have his own son killed."
Remember when Bart Bass died and then came back to life and then died again for real? Bart was a certified Daddy. My heart and brain and vagina all had conflicted feelings about this.
"I'm the crazy bitch around here."
Blair and Dan teamed up to take down batshit crazy bitch Georgina, there was sexual tension and espionage and it was great. If you're going to rewatch a storyline, the first Georgina one is as good as any.
"Spotted: Chuck Bass losing something no one knew he had — a heart."
Blair and Nate finally have fucking sex and it's to Timbaland's "APOLOGIZE"? If only all of our faux-first times could have been to this banger of a pop-ballad song. I'll never be over this moment.
"Three words, eight letters"
GG really knew how to make us work for it.
"I don't want to be alone."
Raise your hand if you've ever been personally victimized by Gossip Girl. I have and it was when they decided to ruin our lives and have Chuck take Jenny's virginity.
"You've got the love…"
10/10 assume the song choice is a direct homage to the finale of the other iconic NYC series Sex and the City. Dan and Serena's eventual wedding was irritatingly unavoidable, but the pleasure of seeing Chuck and Blair's well-dressed spawn made up for it.
"You're the only one who owns a hoodie."
Dan reveals he was Gossip Girl and the entire world fucking groaned. This revealed wasn't iconic so much as annoying, but still. GG revealed is a big deal, and we all know the showrunners could have Tony Soprano'd us and left us still scrambling years later. But my money was on Dorota, too.
Someone started a hate campaign against Millie Bobby Brown and it’s filled with horrible tweets
by Katie Way
A trending hashtag right now, #TakeDownMillieBobbyBrown, is full of photoshopped tweets and presumably falsified accounts designed to make the Stranger Things darling look like a homophobic edgelord and it's incredibly fucked up. The words and pictures that Millie stands "accused" of posting are nowhere to be seen on her actual Twitter account, nor is there…
Everyone you’ll inevitably run into when you go home for Thanksgiving
Your hometown’s greatest hits
by Katie Way
Thanksgiving is a relatively simple holiday, especially if you toss aside all of the weird, shaky historical context. Basically, you go home and eat a long, early dinner with your family members and then watch football instead of the Godfather marathon that's on AMC every year. But since that straightforward premise brings everybody home at…
This girl just invented the most genius way to sneak snacks into the movies, and I’m truly in awe of her intellect
Thomas Edison could never
by Katie Way
I've said it before and I'll say it again: women are smarter than men. And now, thanks to Twitter user @AngelaBrisk, next time I say that and some dude tries to challenge me I'll have definitive proof that I'm right. If you've ever tried to bring outside food into a movie theater, you know that…