There are 10 specific ‘sex personalities’ and we can all be categorized into one
Tag yourself, I’m dependent
While those things might be true according to us, and the *~stars~*, there's apparently a way more scientific way to categorize the way we all are in bed.
According to sex therapist Dr. Sandra Pertot, there are 10 libido types or "sex personalities," and we can all be neatly filed into one.
The sensual lover is anyone who sees sex as an act of — wait for it! — love. Probably not anybody reading this to be fair, but some of us still haven't been hardened by the world and can enjoy cuddling and actually prefer to sleep over.
This person wants to orgasm while looking you in the eye, and prefers positions like missionary, where they can see your face the entire time.
They don't get much enjoyment out of one night stands, and will always text you the morning after.
If you've wondered why the "erotic" section on porn sites is so vast, these people are why.
Erotic lovers would almost rather have no sex than have boring sex, but don't break out the kinky boots yet. They're not necessarily looking to be tied up and handcuffed to your bed — they're just definitely looking for something unique.
They mostly enjoy the thrill of sex. Some sessions should be long and slow, and some should be quickies in the bathroom of a bar. Role play is almost always a go.
Dependent lovers are the type to sext you at work. They're always thinking about sex but when they finally get it, it's a one-and-done thing.
They're not meeting up with you on a Tinder date because they see it going somewhere — they're "too busy to date right now" — but they'll always invite you over late-night.
They have two iPhones, a Blackberry, and 16 alarms going off so constantly, you can't get off. But they will because they've learned to tune it out.
Sex is a stress reliever for these people, and they get irritated if they've gone too many days without it. Catch them masturbating while checking e-mails instead of porn.
The reactive lover is here 👏 for 👏 you 👏.
This is the kind of person — I've heard, I've never seen one in the flesh — who will come over, go down on you and then leave. If you aren't having a good time, they aren't having a good time. But something this can be detrimental.
If they don't hear you making certain noises or reassuring them that they're doing a good job, they may get nervous while performing and end up self-imploding.
Entitled lovers (if you can call them that), are here for a good time, not a long time.
As long as they get off, they consider the session a success and you can catch them checking Snapchat approximately 30 seconds after orgasming.
They'll finish the meet-up with a nice glass of chilled water (for themselves, not you) and be out the door. But at least you'll never need an excuse to get them out of your bed and into an Uber because they've already called one.
Similar to an entitled lover, this lover has other things on their mind but to the point where the sex isn't even doing anything for them. While their partner climaxes, they're thinking about passive aggressive comments made about their presentation today.
While someone is going down on them, they're thinking about what they're going to order on Seamless when they leave.
They're happy to lie back and kind of let the sex happen to them, but don't expect them to be saddling up for a backwards cowgirl type session. Sex is just another part of the daily routine for these people, not a requirement.
Addictive lovers are, more often than not, cheaters.
They're so obsessed with sex that they want it from you but they also want it from everyone else. I almost hate that this category exists because it seems like a scapegoat for shitty people, but hey, if there's science behind it.
Maybe they're in bed with you, but they're SnapChat-ing someone else and when you leave they'll re-install Tinder so they can swipe the rest of the evening away.
But maybe so will you.
This is the kind of lover who might ask you to pee on them or make you lick their feet. They have very specific fetishes, and won't be able to get off if they aren't met.
Compulsive lovers are terrified of meeting on Tinder dates because they seem normal on the outside but are wildly warped on the inside. Unless that's your kink — then you'll be perfect for each other.
Extreme domination and submission fall into this category.
No, stressed lovers aren't stressed about outside factors like school or work; they're stressed about their performance. They're constantly worrying about the partners who came before them, or whether or not you're orgasming.
Sounds nice until they get a nose bleed on you while you're just trying to enjoy things. This person will need a lot of emotional support, so do not engage in a sexual relationship with them unless you are prepared to hold their hand.
With a little training and the right equipment, they might even be good.
Unlike the detached lover, the disinterested lover's mind isn't only elsewhere, but it wants to be elsewhere.
Sometimes it's because of bad sexual experiences that came before, and sometimes it's just because they're thinking about fucking your friend.
The key think to be cautious of here is that you are way more into them than they are into you. Maybe you've been dating for a long time and they've gotten bored of you, or maybe you were just never that interesting to begin with.
You're convenient, and they'll definitely dump you when they end up moving, or a new girl starts in their office.
If you don't fit into any of these categories, we're not sure what to tell you.
Maybe see someone about that?
Related stories recommended by this writer:
‘It’s not me…it’s you’: How to breakup with someone you love in person
Your pain must end at some point
by Ari Bines
Once you've passed the 6-month mark in your relationship, you owe it them an in-person breakup. Many have (and will) take the easy way out, shooting the soon-to-be ex a text, voicemail or, if you're lucky, an actual phone call. It's tough being the bitch you've been rehearsing to be your whole life, but this…
We asked girls for their weirdest turn-ons — and they did NOT disappoint
Y’all are insane
by Ari Bines
I've come to the realization that what turns me on most are not normal for most people. A guy who can tickle my fancy (and…other bits) can sometimes make my body do some pretty wild things. But since I don't want to be alone with all my freaky turn-ons, I sought out out babe readers…
A guide to video chat sex for all you long-distance non-cheaters out there
Step 1: Make sure your internet works
by Ari Bines
For suckers who choose to remain faithful despite being hundreds of miles away from their significant bae, you'll undoubtedly use Skype/FaceTime sex to keep the relationship hot. Late, lonely nights will come along while Soulja Boy Tell'em's Kiss Me Thru the Phone plays in the background, and you become unbearably horny. Because I'm committed to…