These people are all living in 3017 while you struggle to make it in 2017
This is the future Fergie spoke of
by Amanda Ross
Take a deep breath and know this next sentence is written out of tremendous love: You are stupid.
I'm stupid, too! It's fine! We're just a whole mess of bumbling morons struggling to not die in blazing wildfire infernos or in a SuperHurricane™ or in one of Grand Wizard Pence's patent-pending Death Chutes.
Even though the human race is collectively dumb, there are a few brilliant standouts who make staying alive worth it. They inspire us with their insane lifehacks, their commitment to cheating on their partners, their "shortcuts" that make us wonder which of us is actually the dumb one in that situation (hint: it's always you).
So here they are, the chosen geniuses living in 3017 (and please note that's 9 whole years more futuristic than the 3008 Fergie sang about):
This player tryna fuck via EBay DMs:
— liss (@lissyj123) September 10, 2017
We're cumming to the RYTHM now, get with it:
Yall in 2017 using your hands to masturbate like neanderthals im in 3017 using binaural beats for a hands free orgasm
— rat mic (@loopzoop) September 7, 2017
I don't see how this is easier but I appreciate the ingenuity?
Shorty damn near just had me question how I pump gas pic.twitter.com/kmEqNqzDeX
— high quality H2O (@SusieFourStars) August 29, 2017
When will your feed be this iconic? Answer: never:
Cool…coffee purse? Sorry, someone explain this to me:
While US Starbucks is in 2017, China Starbucks is in freaking 3017. pic.twitter.com/vvl1h4IyS6
— Candice Clifford (@CandiceJoe) August 31, 2017
cum is for degenerates. we know piss is where the real nutrients are at
— special ed stallion (@konamicola) August 31, 2017
The year is 3017. Your American dollars are useless. The Euro is at a historic low. The NaziBots policing the waterlogged highways will only accept this at toll payment:
— Brotips (@brotips) August 31, 2017
OK, this one is actually smart:
we're all living in 2017 while my brother is living in 3017 pic.twitter.com/viri1IQ3lx
— 도매니크 🌻 (@illicityoongi) August 30, 2017
When you hear a British rapper singing about shooters:
I'm in 3017 with a loudencer pic.twitter.com/0auig7sfLp
— Clout Skywalker (@LILUZIHURT) August 30, 2017
You're telling me men can now have the deep waves of their dreams and keep their precious retinas free of harmful rays?!
Henry Ford is shaking:
We’re in 2017, while he’s in 3017 .. pic.twitter.com/4JK77o2dcQ
— mia (@miaaalaraaa) August 27, 2017
Someone better come get their son:
We're all living in 2017 , while their mom in 3017. pic.twitter.com/hdOnRLJlm8
— رِتاج الصراف (@RotyAlsarraf) August 26, 2017
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