I’ve been in kind of a rut recently, and it’s making me reconsider a lot of fundamental things about my life. Am I ever going to have a job that’s fulfilling and pays well? Is my situationship headed anywhere, or should I ghost and re-download Bumble as soon as possible?
And, most importantly of all… should I get bangs?
It's a transitional time of year. Summer's fading haze and fall’s inevitable approach are obvious immediately upon stepping outside.
As the trees turn gold and orange and begin to shed their leaves, the weather around me crisps and crystallizes into brisk, blue fall, and I find myself turning inwards and asking the questions that keep me up at night: do you think I could rock bangs?
I used to think girls were super nice to each other in bar washrooms until my friend came back from one thinking she should get bangs
— andrew (@AndrewsNotFunny) May 12, 2017
I’m just like, kind of worried because I’ve never really been able to pin down my face shape, you know what I mean? Sometimes I’m 100 percent sure that it’s heart-shaped, but other days I feel like I hover in circle territory, which definitely changes things.
And then I have to decide what kind of bangs I even want. I kind of like those little art hoe bangs, but I don’t want everyone to think I’m getting bangs just because I moved to Brooklyn. Yeah, Bushwick. I do love it, thank you for asking! I’m a little bit nervous about side swept bangs now that the side-braid isn’t really in anymore, and that’s where I feel like the side swept bangs really shine.
Blunt bangs strike me as very manic-pixie-Zooey-Deschanel. Or too fashion-girl, like Alexa Chung. Are people even referencing her as a Bangs Icon anymore? Ugh, it’s just been so long since I last considered getting bangs.
A haircut shouldn’t even be that big of a deal. If I get bangs and don’t like them, all I have to do is wait it out and they’ll go away. Hair grows! Surveying everyone I know about whether or not I should get bangs is like asking people if I should cut my fingernails!
I’m starting to wonder if I’m zeroing in on this bangs issue in order to avoid dealing with… bigger issues. Getting bangs won’t magically solve all of my problems. It won’t solve any of my problems, because my forehead stopped breaking out after I went on birth control and that’s basically the only concern I had that bangs could really alleviate.
But seriously, should I take the plunge? I kinda think they’d look cute. Do you think they’d look cute?
Butts are canceled because everyone is freaking out over trying to get a sexy belly button now
What the hell am I supposed to do with my innie?
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