Why do guys love to feel sorry for themselves when they break up with us?

You have not broken up with a straight male unless you've been forced to listen with a broken heart to his laundry list of bad qualities. Whether he's fat, has emotional issues, or isn't smart, he'll find some way to tear himself down while he simultaneously ends your relationship.

Maybe he'll say you're too beautiful for an ugly guy like him to hold you down. Maybe he'll tell you on a public bench while you're shoving a Chick-Fil-A sandwich in your mouth he's too fucked up for a relationship with such a nice girl, causing you to avoid Chick-Fil-A for a solid year after the breakup.

No, that definitely didn't happen to me.

Why do guys want us to feel bad for them when they're breaking up with us? They can't really feel this way. If they seriously thought they were hopeless, there's no way they would dump us. If we're really "too smart" or "too pretty," there's no way they would let us go.

I've decided there's only one explanation that makes sense. They want to avoid guilt – like they want to avoid responsibility and commitment, you know?

Maybe if they convince themselves its better for them to break up with you, they won't feel as guilty. Maybe they think they can convince you its better to be over. Then, you won't be mad and they won't have to feel bad.

To every man out there, I want you to know this doesn't work. It just pisses us off that you aren't confident enough to be honest. We've all seen He's Just Not That Into You.