Can we all stop lying about wanting something ‘casual’?

I started seeing this guy and before I had a chance to get to know him, I told him I just wanted something casual. Eventually, I did get to know him and realized that I didn't just want casual anymore but it was too late to change things.

We'd established a pattern and for me to switch things up this late in the game wouldn't have been fair.

I regret saying that I wanted something casual because the truth is I never wanted that. I thought that by saying I wanted casual and keeping things casual, I could avoid getting hurt. But I was wrong.

We need to stop saying that we want something casual when we don't.

There's nothing wrong with casual sex if that's what you really want. But when you know you want a relationship there's no point in saying you want something casual for a number of reasons:

– You're lying

– You're going to get attached

– You're going to get hurt

Saying you want something "casual" because you think it'll keep him around won't work. Eventually, you're going to want something more and he'll be blindsided and possibly mad, after all, you're the one who said she was fine with casual.

Life isn't a TV show. It may have worked out for Rory Gilmore when she told Logan she lied about wanting something casual but it won't work for you. There isn't going to be a magical movie ending to this dishonest situation you've created.

Be honest with what you want. If he doesn't want a relationship right now, then move on and find someone who does. I promise, you'll find someone even better. But lying about wanting casual is the worst thing you can do. You deserve better and so does he.

@jenniferficarra