‘Submarining’ is the latest bullshit dating trend to make you wanna die

Guess what? There's another new dating trend here to make us miserable because we can't have nice things. Ever.

Submarining is the latest dating behavior to screw with your emotions. I'm sure you can take a guess as to what submarining might be but in case you've been too broken down by ghosting, stashing, and benching to even think straight, I'll just tell you.

You know when someone you're dating suddenly goes off the radar but then pops back in as if they never left? That's submarining.

Not to be confused with zombieing, of course. Zombies are former ghosts who come back into your life with the knowledge that they technically "died" but are back from the dead and ready for more. Usually, they'll apologize or acknowledge their death.

Not submariners, though.

There's no explanation for a submariner leaving because they don't technically believe they left. They just had to go underwater for a while but now they're back on the surface.

In many ways, submariners are the worst because they're not self-aware enough to understand that what they did is complete shit. They don't apologize for going stealth mode because they have no shame.

Submariners think they can just swim back into your life as if nothing happened, as if they didn't completely go off the deep end for a while. They'll act as if nothing happened which leaves you with two choices:

– Accept this submariner back into your life with the knowledge that he might go adrift again

– Tell the submariner "thanks but no thanks" and preserve your pride and dignity

Personally, I want us all to say bon voyage to these submariners and other trash dating monsters who toy with us and our emotions in these ways. But the truth is I totally understand giving someone a second chance even though you know better. The choice is yours to make.

It'd just be cool if they knew better than to be complete jerkoffs but we can't always win. But one thing is for sure, these submariners are giving me sea sickness and I'm on dry land.

@jenniferficarra