Apparently there are only four types of assholes in the world, and I’ve dated all of them

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Apparently there are only four types of assholes in the world, and I’ve dated all of them

Science really breaks it down

Professor Robert Sutton from Stanford University knows assholes. The personality type, that is. Recently, he released a new book called The Asshole Survival Guide that highlights all the different kinds of assholes in the world and gives advice on how best to deal with them.

In the book, Sutton details four different types of asshole personalities. In a not so shocking turn of events, I've dated every kind of asshole identified and I bet you have too.

Here's a list of every type of asshole but, alternatively, we could just call this a list of the four types of guys you'll meet on Tinder.

The Machiavellian Asshole

Patrick Bateman is the quintessential Machiavellian Asshole

Machiavellian's are selfish. They care about themselves and personal gain and they don't give a shit about anything else.

These kinds of assholes enjoy watching other people fall if it means they get a boost. Sutton says this type of asshole will be mean straight to someone's face and doesn't care about exhibiting nasty behavior.

Machiavellian's know they're assholes and embrace it.

The Backstabber Asshole

Littlefinger you backstabbing hoe

The Backstabber is a sneaky lil bitch. They know they're assholes but they try to hide it.

"They are more strategically competent a**holes," Sutton says. "They kiss up and knock down people around them."

Backstabbers are the most dangerous of the asshole genre because they pretend to be sugar, spice, and everything nice until they no longer need you. They're team you until you no longer benefit them.

They're cruel and cunning assholes.

The Purposefully Oblivious Asshole

Logan is the TYPICAL purposefully oblivious entitled asshole

This asshole is that type of person who, even though you've met them a number of times, pretend they don't know you. It's a belittling move meant to establish dominance.

This person doesn't necessarily think they're an asshole because they might not be expressing asshole opinions, but they are. Their silence speaks volumes, apparently.

The Purposefully Oblivious Assholes let power get to their head and it makes them feel superior to others.

They believe they're allowed to act this way.

The Clueless Asshole

Seth thinks he's a nice guy but really, he's a clueless ass

The Clueless Asshole is just that, clueless. They have no idea they're an asshole unless someone tells them they're an asshole.

That's really it for the clueless asshole. They lack self-awareness to realize that they're a complete jerkoff.

I've definitely dated each type of asshole but also, I realized something… am I… am I an asshole? Maybe it's not them, but also me.

Tag yourself. I'm the Purposefully Oblivious Asshole.

@jenniferficarra