Only serial killers use the ‘take photo’ option on Instagram

Follow us

fads  • 

Only serial killers use the ‘take photo’ option on Instagram

Who just snaps a spontaneous Insta???

I have an announcement to make: only psychopathic serial killers use the "take photo" option on Instagram.

You know on Instagram when you go to post a photo there's that little "take photo" option where you can take a photo right then and there? Who in their right mind would choose that option?

For starters, when you're getting around to posting that fire Insta you're probably five minutes into your ten minute face mask with your hair in a towel or at work. Whatever the case, there is no possible way that you should be taking a photo at that exact moment.

Every sane person knows that in order to take an Instagram-worthy photo, you have to have at least 30 pics of the same thing and then pick the best of the bunch. Instagram is not a one-to-one ratio. You don't take a photo and then post that photo. That does. not. happen.

Unless you're Emily Ratajkowski who wakes up looking like she's been kissed by an angel, you're probably not using that "take photo" option. Even if you're the most beautiful woman on the planet I highly doubt you're gonna post an instant photo without at least a few tweaks whether it's adding contrast or saturation or whatever.

The "take photo" feature exists for the same reason they give you the end pieces in with your loaf of bread — because they want you to have the option but know you'll never use it. And by the way, the people who eat the end pieces of bread are the same people who use the "take photo" feature.

"Take photo" is meant for 70-year-old grandparents who were forced into using technology but don't want things to be too complicated. They are the exception to the rule. They are exempt from being classified as psychopathic serial killers.

The "take photo" feature is not meant for you, Chad, to take a quick pic to post and then maybe add to your Tinder. Why? Because you look like a freak.

If you are choosing to use the "take photo" feature on Instagram I need you to look at your life, look at your choices, and reevaluate. Maybe see a therapist. If you are using the "take photo" feature on Instagram there is an 80% chance that you are a psychopath.

@jenniferficarra

Tit Bits

Latest episode

An original series

An original series by

b