How to ask a guy to hook up over text

It's 2017 which means antiquated dating rituals are no more. Women can take the reins and that means they can ask a guy to hook up over text the same way guys ask us. But how to ask a guy to hook up over text?

It can be overwhelming being the one to make the first move. Asking a guy to hook up over text is intimidating. It's scary to put yourself out there in a way that you feel like you might get shamed or rejected for. But my advice is this: fuck everyone. If you want to hook up with a guy, it's your prerogative.

Get real relationship advice from babe’s community of real girls with our paid membership

Babe universe is our community of real girls just like you where you can ask any question in a safe space and get instant, personal replies to your problems.

And if you want to text a guy to hook up? It's your right to do so.

Luckily for you, I am here to be your hook up fairy godmother. It's easy to ask a guy to hook up over text but there are some tips and tricks to make your life a whole lot easier.

Know the rules

Before you send him the text, you need to understand that hook ups are a two way street. If you're going to text him to hook up then you have to realize you're now opening the door for him to send you those 2 a.m. "u up?" texts.

If you're okay with establishing this rule and making it a two way street then it's game time.

Start small

Unless you have the type of whatever-ship where you can simply say "hey come over and fuck me" I suggest you start small. If this is your first time at the pool, you want to dip a toe before you dive in.

Start off with conversation. It can be as simple as "how was your day?" Or you can make it more personal "your snapstory was so funny omg." Or whatever topic you'd naturally and normally text him, do it.

This doesn't have to be a big "omg" thing. You're a sexual being with sexual needs and you're allowed to ask to have those needs met.

Go big or go home

The problem with text messages is that words can be misunderstood and misconstrued. You can't necessarily understand sarcasm or intonation via words on your iMessage. And that's okay — it's a phone, not a mindreader. But that's why it's important to be very clear and specific with what you want.

There's no time to be coy or to beat around the bush. Your ultimate goal is to hook up with this human and we should always keep the goal in mind. Don't try to send some cutesy message or emojis for him to decode because, as much as I love them, guys can be dense. You need to spell things out for them or risk not getting a hook up at all.

These are some things you could text him so that he understands exactly what you want:

"Want to come over and hookup?"

It's precise and succinct and gets your message across.

"I want to kiss you right now. Come over."

It puts imagery in his mind. It lets him know exactly what you want. And you're the boss here. You're not asking. You're telling.

"Netflix & Chill?"

You're not exactly saying "let's fuck" but Netflix & Chill is part of the cultural lexicon and it's pretty clear what's "& chill" means.

"Remember when we did X? Let's do it again tonight."

Calling back to a previous hookup will get him going and make him excited. It'll be hard for him to resist.

"Let's fuck."

If you really want to be bold just spell it out for him clear as day. It'll be hard to construe this as anything other than what you're saying.

Be bold. Ask for what you want. And most importantly, have fun and get yours. Good luck!

Related stories recommended by this writer:

● How to initiate a hook-up with that guy you've been eyeing because you deserve to get some

● 'It's not me… it's you': How to break up with someone you love in person

● Here's how to talk to your hookup about your kink

@jenniferficarra