These costumes did not need to be slutty…and yet, here we are
Why do you have to ruin Kylie like that?
by Jenn Ficarra
I am exceptionally here for slutty Halloween costumes. It's the one day out of the year where we can all wear lingerie as clothing and no one blinks an eye. It's fabulous. I am firmly #TeamSlut.
But, and stick with me, not everything needs to become a slutty costume. I know, I know. I feel like a traitor to my hoe family for even saying it.
Sometimes, believe it or not, certain costumes are not meant to be slutty.
I'm sorry but why does a slutty Garfield Halloween costume exist
— Aaron🎃 (@AmazingRigby) October 2, 2017
If you're itching to be a dirty little slut this Halloween, more power to you, but for the love of God do not wear any of the following costumes. These costumes should not, under any circumstances, ever be turned slutty.
Luckily, this is a fake costume that The Beaverton posted about. So far, no one has been daft enough to turn the powerful and symbolic red Handmaid's costumes into anything slutty and it should stay that way.
Remember Ken Bone from the debates? Yeah, well, now you can dress like him, only sluttier! Hoe, don't do it!
I'm just so tired, you guys.
Kylie's already sexy. We know this. But whyyyyyyy on Earth did you have to turn her pregnancy into a sexy costume? Jesus Wept That Day.
Can someone please gauge out my eyes?
Why are you even making Fake News a costume, let alone a sexy costume? Just. Stop.
Please, I'm begging you, think before making something slutty. Not everything needs to be turned into a sexy Halloween costume.
The fuckboy haircut: An evolutionary timeline through history
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Eyebrow waxing is a scam, sorry!
Somebody has to say it
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Maintaining your eyebrows is a labor of love akin to keeping an orchid alive or baking a soufflé. They require a delicate touch, and one wrong move can lead to disaster: dead flower, collapsed pastry, fucked-up 'brows. 'Since nobody is born with a Cara Delevingne situation going on (honestly, Cara probably wasn't either), which means…