Women have to ‘prove we’re as sick as men’ to be taken care of

Nationwide, men wait an average of 49 minutes before receiving an analgesic for acute abdominal pain. Women wait an average of 65 minutes for the same thing, and often that's only after a male we've entered the doctor's office or hospital with has vouched for us.

It's a truth universally acknowledged that women are taken less seriously in general, and despite gender being entirely irrelevant in terms of intelligence or decision making, we've adapted to the label and learned to live around it.

But when it comes to emergencies, gender bias playing a part is much more immediately dangerous, and in some cases fatal.

In “The Girl Who Cried Pain,” a study identifying ways gender plays out in clinical pain management, author Diane E. Hoffmann writes, women are “more likely to be treated less aggressively in the health-care system until they ‘prove that they are as sick as male patients."

And any girl, anywhere, can vouch for that.

'He said most girls who threaten to kill themselves don't actually do it'

"I went to my doctor with suicidal thoughts and depression and he was like 'yeah girls can be so emotional, they often say they're gonna kill themselves and then don't do it, don't worry about it!'

"This was post suicide attempt." — Angela, 20

'He told me my arthritis was back pain and I needed a massage'

"I Went to my doctor with back pain and kept being told to suck it up, I'll have it forever. He said I was just stressed and need a back massage, but finally I had MRI scan, and it turns out I have mild arthritis." – Carmela, 23

'I was told to drink Gatorade but was actually in critical state'

"Earlier in the spring I kept getting sick — I lost 15 pounds and felt like I was dying. My doctor told me to drink more Gatorade and wait for it to pass.

"When I nearly passed out a week later I went to urgent care and had three different infections I'd been fighting for months. They said if I'd waited any longer I could have been in critical state." — Ingrid, 22

'My birth control was making me sick and it took a female doctor to change it'

"I went on a new pill and for about a month was sick almost ever day. I went to my male doctor and asked if there was anything that could be done and he told me (in more technical terms) to suck it up and deal with it.

"I went home and gave it another two weeks and couldn't deal with it anymore so called my doctor's surgery and asked for an appointment with a female, GP. She put me on a new pill straight away and booked me in for another appointment two weeks later." — Jules, 23

'I had my period for two months and they told me to take Advil'

"My period didn't end for two weeks when I was 10 so I went to the hospital. They gave me Advil and told me it would end soon. Two months later I'm still having it. I visit the hospital for a 3rd time and they had to keep me overnight because my vitals were so low. I couldn't eat, I was shaking all the time, and no one believed how bad it was. They decided to give me birth control to end it." — Shea, 21

'Finally finding out I wasn't weak or crazy was the greatest feeling in the world'

"I got really sick and was super tired my sophomore year of high school and was told to lose weight, to cut out certain foods. My mom paid out of pocket so I could get an MRI and I was diagnosed with a type one Chiari Malformation.

"Recently, I was also diagnosed with narcolepsy. Doctors invalidated my emotions to the point where I thought I was making up having two brain disorders. I lost friends, had to quit activities, and was living as a recluse. Finally finding out I wasn't weak or crazy was the greatest feeling in the world." — Daneca, 22

There's this trauma of "not being seen" associated with women who are sick, because male doctors have dismissed us or made us feel like we're bothering them with our illnesses, and so we've becoming quieter about asking for help.

We're not only waiting longer to be seen because they don't believe us — they don't — but because in return it's become harder to believe ourselves.

A 6 or 10 on the pain scale might be something we knock down to a 4 or 5 so we don't feel like we're out of line.

@carolinephinney