I know it sounds crazy, but being friends with straight dudes is a total untapped resource
It’s not that hard
by Katie Way
There's something comforting and affirming about female friendship that is impossible to replicate.
But just because being friends with girls is a beautiful, sometimes exhausting, ecstatic adventure doesn't mean that you should ignore another wholly underutilized friendship resource: straight men.
You have to hear me out
Straight dudes are capable of being just as good as your friends of other genders and niches on the spectrum of sexuality.
I'm not saying that all straight men are eligible friend candidates — if you find yourself in a group of dudes who can't stop raving about how chill and funny you are compared to other girls, wash those undercover misogynists out of your hair as soon as possible.
You're never 'stuck in the friend zone', if you value having women as friends. pic.twitter.com/nOpvKMhgxb
— Boo 👻 🏳️🌈 (@McJoberdeen) April 4, 2017
Likewise, if you get the vibe that you're being groomed for some kind of relationship you aren't interested in, make your platonic intentions very clear and dip the fuck out if they don't listen.
But it's totally possible to find a group of straight guys who aren't sexist, aren't trying to get in your pants and actually share your interests. And when you do, hang onto them, because there are a ton of pros of being friends with dudes that your other more feminine relationships could be lacking.
There's less 'competition'
Women should not have to compete with one another, and yet we're constantly pitted against one another in arbitrary ways. Who got the most likes on their new profile picture? Who actually hooked up with the super hot friend-of-a-friend you've all been religiously Facebook stalking?
u ever sit down n think about ur friends n how much they have impacted ur life and how much they mean 2 u and u just pic.twitter.com/KY984VnoVn
— ً (@DAREDEVllLS) November 14, 2016
Straight guys don't really give a fuck about that kind of stuff, because in most realms they don't perceive women as competition. Big problem in the workplace or in class, kind of a relief in a friendship. They might not like your latest 'gram post right away, but you can probably chalk that up to the fact that they literally never check it as opposed to a shadier motive.
Yelling is fun!
Call it masculine swagger, call it bravado, call it being an jackass, but when you throw a group of young men who really like each other together in a room, there's gonna be a lot of yelling.
Men might be conditioned to ignore negative emotions, but when it comes to expressing excitement or joy, dudes are often ready to let loose in a way that some tighter-laced women might find uncomfortable.
Her: Come Over
Me: I'm Tired
Her: But I wanted to discuss some ideas & visions of mine. I'd like your insight.
— Modern Marvel (@SimplyDop3) February 24, 2016
A lot of my straight guy friends are big fans of vigorous rhetorical argument, with topics ranging from whose favorite basketball team is superior to the differences between the album and single version of Blondie's Heart of Glass. But the best part about these "debates" is how quickly they devolve into shit-talking.
As a rule, guys are just way more comfortable with saying insanely hurtful things to each other as a joke, which is surprisingly refreshing. A single night with a group of dudes who've known each other since high school can easily turn into a masterclass in the art of the insult, which can really step your game up when you're talking shit with your lady friends on a separate occasion.
They help you set your standards for a romantic partner
Okay, so if you're constantly comparing your love interests to one specific male friend and find that they always fall short then that's a whole other deal (sis, you're into him). That's not what I'm talking about.
Hanging out with guys on a platonic basis shows you that, despite what memes and your romantic history might lead you to believe, not all men are trash.
If you're a girl who dates guys, hanging with straight men can help you set your bar for how a partner should treat you because it shows you that guys are fully fucking capable of being emotional entities who support and respect you.
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