Now that Cole Sprouse is on the come up, let’s see what his ‘Suite Life’ girlfriends are doing

Cole Sprouse is kinda having the best year ever. He's starring in Riverdale, which the entire world seems to be obsessed with, and is allegedly dating his hot but pure-hearted co-star, Lili Reinhart.

This is literally Cole's first big acting gig since Suite Life of Zack and Cody, so like, he's lucky it did well and everyone isn't saying he peaked at age 11. But I started wondering if maybe some of his co-stars DID peak at 11 when they got to star on Disney Channel, kiss a celeb, and shove the Tiger Beat that mentioned them in all of their fifth-grade friends' faces.

I launched a formal investigation into all of Cody Martin's love interests and here's what I found.

Rebecca

Ok, you didn't watch Suite Life if you don't remember the episode where Cody dresses up as Tyreesha to compete in a pageant. He has a huge crush on another contestant, Rebecca, and she ends up winning the money because pure-hearted Cody drops out for her.

Rebecca was played by Victoria Justice, who starred in Victorious from 2010-2013. We basically all know who she is from Nickelodeon's insidious advertising and her adjacency to Ariana Grande, the queen of Nick. But, she really hasn't done anything super special in years. She was in a remake of Rocky Horror, which is fascinating to say the least, and she's starred in multiple tween movies which is totally on-brand. She also had a music career for a few years, but like, what child star didn't.

Apparently she's working on a top-secret project with Karlie Kloss, so maybe her own career-saving Riverdale is on the way?

Even if she's only a D-list celeb, she did get to meet Jane Goodall, which is totally what I would do if I had ANY star power.

Victoria's still hot and she seems like she has fun, so power to her. Def didn't peak kissing Cole.

Barbara Brownstein

Barbara Brownstein was Cody's badass Jewish and Asian girlfriend who liked Karate and was super smart. They met when she made a bakingsoda volcano in the science fair, but the real spark happened when she got addicted to sugar and kissed Cody.

Barbara was a super strong girl, so I was hoping her actress Sophie Tamiko Oda is just as badass. Sophie has really only ever starred in shorts since Suite Life, but she lowkey seems cool as fuck.

She graduated with a B.F.A. in Musical Theatre from UCal Irvine in 2012. And I have no idea what she does for a career now, but she somehow funds the most amazing closet.

Sophie isn't verified on Social Media, but like she's relatable as fuck. I give her points for that. Did she peak when she got nominated for a Young Artists Award in 2007? Maybe. But like, she seems happy with it.

Jessica and Janice Ellis

Jessica and Janice were the two British twins who loved Cody because he was sensitive. They were in a bunch of episodes, and even though neither of them ever dated him, I'm sure there's some twisted fan fics about a manage de trois out there somewhere. So, I decided to include them.

These girls have had a strange and tumultuous career, TBH. They starred in Legally Blondes, which is cool because it was produced by Reese Witherspoon but is also lame because it was like the third spinoff of Legally Blonde.

They were also in an all-girls singing group called "The Russo Sisters" with two of their older sisters or maybe their clones, I'm not really sure.

The group was signed by Virgin Records and managed by the Jonas Brothers' dad. That sounds like a bad "three random people walked into a bar" joke, but I promise it's 1000% real. The group disbanded when the girls' mom died, and they haven't really done anything since. They don't even have public Instagram or Twitter accounts.

I hope somewhere out there, the twins are living a good life. I also sincerely hope they stayed in touch with Reese Witherspoon.

Gwen

Remember when baby Selena Gomez was on Suite Life? She played Gwen, who was Cody's girlfriend but had to kiss Zack in their school's rendition of A Midsummer's Night's Dream.

It would be a waste of space for me to give you an update on Selena, the most followed person on Instagram who now dates The Weeknd and somehow escaped Disney with her psyche in tact.

But I will say to every Selena-hater out there, she has literally had star power since she was a kid, as evidenced by her spunky portrayal of Cole's childhood crush. She gave up her first kiss for Suite Life, which is method acting at its finest. Case closed.

Bailey

Bailey Pickett was Cody's girlfriend throughout The Suite Life on Deck, which was honestly one of the best spin-offs Disney ever aired.

She was played by Debby Ryan, who starred in Disney's Jessie. She's starred in a bunch of other family shows and does a bunch of sponcon on her Instagram.

She is also apparently friends with Lilli Reinhart which is cuuute.

Debby recently moved to Atlanta, which has a pretty great entertainment industry.

She seems like one of the more successful Suite Life alum, but she's no Selena. Next!

As a bonus: Agnes

I had to include Agnes in this round-up. She was the red-head who looked like your local elementary school horse girl who had a major crush on Cody until he set her up with Zack. She then spent the rest of the series harassing the twins, who were actually really mean to her.

As evidence karma is real, Allie Grant, who played Agnes, is beautiful AND accomplished. She's best known for her role as Isabelle on Weeds, but also had roles in Suburgatory, The Goldbergs, and All Night. She has been nominated for a SAG award and took classes at Harvard before acting full-time.

Agnes is proof there is hope for all of us. Maybe one day I'll have my glow-up and become hot and Ivy League educated. Then again, I didn't start my childhood by kissing Cole Sprouse, so I'm probably out of luck.