First of all, I just want to say that I am so fucking sorry. I know that doesn't really make it better, but I mean it.
I think Post Malone is hot. When I see a picture of him, I don't just think, "Ah, an image of successful rapper Post Malone." I think, "Ah, an image of successful rapper Post Malone, who I would kiss if given the opportunity."
Yeah, it's that bad.
Where did I go wrong? I've tried to distill the origins of this attraction, but at the end of the day, it's too late for me.
I'm always going to be the person who thought Post Malone was cute, no matter what else I achieve in this life of sin. Might as well dive in.
Post Malone is my favorite rapper 😍😍😍😍😍😍 pic.twitter.com/6B4HrCM1PZ
— Tyler 🌹 (@wreckemty) October 19, 2017
I like his music
Sex is intimate and sacred, your body is a temple and should not be shared with someone who doesn’t like Post Malone.
— jerome (@DaviidVentura) October 19, 2017
"Congratulations"? Banger. "White Iverson"? Banger. "I Fall Apart"? Emotional banger. Post Malone makes fun, uncomplicated rap music that I like to listen to at parties and when I'm by myself.
I've even seen Post Malone in concert, but the main thing I remember from the concert was drunkenly looking onstage and asking, "Is that fucking Post Malone?"
Talent is sexy, and Post Malone is definitely not untalented.
He seems fun
— WORLDSTARHIPHOP (@WORLDSTAR) October 18, 2017
Even if you're not physically attracted to him, you have to hand it to the guy: he seems like he's a lot of fun to hang out with. He's funny, and if his Noisey video profile is any indication, he's a really down-to-earth guy.
Post Malone would definitely laugh at my jokes instead of saying, "Oh, that's weird," or pretending not to hear them, which would make me feel comfortable and safe. Such a turn-on!
He knows how to accessorize
Again: how fun is this!? Seems like Post Malone is never without a couple of necklaces, a black manicure and a dangling cigarette. He clearly understands fashion and the importance of keeping things spicy.
I for one find it very attractive when a guy isn't too masculine to experiment with jewelry, and smoking is vintage rebel/bad-boy. James Dean could never!
I have low standards
Yeah I'd kiss Post Malone on the lips, who fuckin cares
— Cholly 🌸 (@ComfortInQuiet) October 19, 2017
I've been around the block a couple of times, and honestly? I'm pickier about french fries than I am about men.
I have agreed to go on dates for reasons ranging from "he was wearing a cool jacket" to "my friends thought it would be funny." I have a fair amount of free time and I get along with a wide range of people, okay? Post Malone isn't even close to the lowest I'd go, is what I'm saying.
I've dated like one "hot" guy. He knows who he is.
His hair is… kind of nice?
Ugh. Yeah, it's a mullet, isn't it. It's totally a mullet. But I'm into it. Fuck. Whatever. Post Malone is hot, don't @ me.
We journeyed to find the truth about TimmyThick, the so-called ‘Harvard experiment’ viral star
What are they trying to hide?
by Katie Way
TimmyThick is an 18-year-old boy (man?) who's so thicc that he captivated the entire social media sphere…or is he?As of now, Timmy boasts a solid 40,000 Twitter followers, but recently deleted his Instagram account, a platform on which he amassed hundreds of thousands of followers. He's also friends with Danielle "Bhad 'Cash Me Ousside' Bhabie"…
We talked to the guy behind Twitter’s Pop Crave, the ESPN of pop music
He opened up on his relationship with Cardi B, CEOs leaking stories, and stans stabbing him in the back
by Una Dabiero
There are millions of people on Twitter: celebrities, your classmates, grandmas, and even people who really shouldn't be there, like neo-Nazis or anyone in the Trump family tree. It can be difficult to carve out a space amongst the stan accounts, the vine re-runs, and everyone wishing girls and gays a good morning. But somehow,…
Since Abby Lee’s getting out of jail, let’s see what the Dance Moms girls are up to now
Hopefully none of them are forever scarred by years of abuse!
by Una Dabiero
Abby Lee Miller, the infamous dance teacher who routinely started rumbles between lots of menopausal moms trying to make their prepubescent daughters famous, is getting out of jail. She was thrown behind bars for bankruptcy fraud, but I feel like basically every celebrity has been caught doing shady money things before. The Situation, Shakira…it's an…