The same way you can tell if a guy likes you based on where he cums, his go-to sex position says way more about his feelings towards you than whether or not he double texts.
Granted, everyone (hopefully) switches it up throughout the act, but if three out of four times you find yourself in one of these positions, we've already trudged through all of the psychoanalysis bullshit so you don't have to.
Here's what it means:
If he suggests missionary — and I mean suggests it and stays with it the entire time, climax and all — you can be sure he's not just there because he thinks you're hot. Actually, he may not think you're hot at all, but he likes you, so that's sweet.
Nobody is really pleasuring themselves to the thought of looking into your eyes while rubbing stomachs though. The fun, porn-y bit of your relationship has passed and sometimes you don't even fuck at all.
Are you happy? Do you need to talk about it? I'm here, girl.
This guy STANS for porn but not the good, semi-believable kind. It's the kind where a sister walks in on her stepbrother fucking his babysitter in the shower and pretends not to be there while masturbating on the sink.
He doesn't really like you, and he definitely doesn't respect you, but one thing is for certain, he gets worked up by the thought of his mom walking in on you two.
Yall be posting the same doggy style sex gifs calling it lit. If thats lit to yall everytime yall see the shit, ya sex prolly boring af
— Spooky Boo Bubbz 👻 (@yagurlbubblez87) September 24, 2015
Speed bump, which is doggy but lying down, is nothing like doggy. Arguably, it's one of the most romantic positions out there.
There's literally not an inch of your body that isn't touching his, and because you're so close, you can turn to the side to look at one another. It's also less work for you, and you don't have to get nervous about him staring into your asshole.
He cares about your comfort . . . but not enough to suggest missionary. This is good — honeymoon phase sex.
Legs over the shoulder
This is a one time thing. You'll most likely never see him again. He thinks you name is Sandy, not Cindy.
His friend is on his way over.
Oral only, but performed on him
If he asks you for head and doesn't follow up, not only does he not like you, but he might hate you. Even if you've been dating for a while, this is just really dark.
Fellas why do y’all like when we make eye contact whilst giving you head?
— The Mrs. (@BaeDimples) October 24, 2017
Oral only, but performed on you
This guy might actually be too into you (if that's possible). Oral is incredible, but it's really best when it leads into other things. If he wants to go down on you and then stop, he's obsessed with making sure you don't stray — but to a problematic degree.
He definitely wants you to sleep over. And then he wants to wake up with you, go to breakfast with you, introduce you to his mom and walk you the extra 10 blocks home, while he forces you to hold his sweaty hand and tell him about your childhood.
Do not sweaty-spoon with someone unless you're comfortable taking their last name as yours.
Girl on top
Him asking you to get on top could mean one of two things, depending what happens once you get (all the way) up there.
Some girls really like being on top. They get the best orgasms there, they experience deeper penetration and they kind of like being in charge. If he knows this, he'll suggest it because he's interested in your pleasure.
But, if you get on top, and he doesn't assist as all by helping you to maneuver or allowing you just do what feels best, then you might as well call an Uber while you're up there, too.
You're not staying over.
When everything is going well and then he says “ay, get on top, get on top” pic.twitter.com/vMHId3NTZZ
— SCORPIO SEASON 🗣♏️ (@10browninstreet) October 24, 2017
He wants to watch you fuck him, but he doesn't you to watch him watching him fuck you (did I say that right?), and that's scary. If he's not okay with you seeing his cum face, he's definitely never going to be comfortable telling you he likes you.
Ghost him before he ghosts you.
You know that sweaty move you only bust out right around Christmas time? You're facing him, he's facing you, and you're both forced to stare one another in the eyes while rocking to orgasm?
If you find yourself wrapped up on this pretzel situation, he loves you. Like he really, really loves you, and the first time he told you wasn't during sex.
This guy already can't wait to tell his friends all about the bangin' head you (never) gave him later over a beer.
He probably sends weird sexts, like "Come on by and let me bend you over a table," at super inappropriate and inopportune times, and gets angry when you say you're busy. He doesn't actually like having sex with you, he's just trying something, anything, to escape the prison of his own morbid, misogynistic mind.
I get my extreme upper body strength from *rowing.
*hanging on for dear life during standing sex
— Bruised Not Broken (@DontWannaBFound) July 6, 2017
The "Manhandle" as they call it, where you're lying on top of him and you're both on your backs, is another move not common when it comes to the casual hookups. Slight awkward moves like this, in general, are ones you really only crack into once you've been seeing one another for a while.
The weight distribution is awkward, you're probably going to shoulder them in the face at least a few times, and it's nearly impossible to nail the rhythm.
If he suggests this, it's not the first time you've had sex, and it definitely won't be the last.
If any of this offends you, you might want to stop having sex now, because sex comes with a rule book, and we're all just pawns in its game.