Are you in a toxic friendship?


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Are you in a toxic friendship?

Who needs that negative energy?

She's one of your best friends, but sometimes she makes you feel completely out of place. You've found yourself questioning whether you should actually be friends. Are you in a toxic friendship? It can be psychological warfare of the brutal Mean Girls kind. Here's some things you should ask yourself to see if you two are actually meant to be close buds.

Do you actually like hanging out with her?

Sometimes you get a text from one of your girls asking to make plans and find yourself completely bummed. You shouldn't dread hanging out with someone that's meant to be one of your best friends. There's something wrong if you're wishing for excuses to bow out.

Have you heard her talk about you behind your back?

Dorm life gets tricky when you live in such close proximity to your friends. You can easily walk down the hallway or just be getting changed in your room and hear your supposed bud having a laugh at your expense.

Does she make you feel like the outsider in your group of friends?

Group dynamics among girlfriends are crazy complex, but when you feel like a bud is segmenting you off from the rest it's the worst feeling. If you feel like somehow you've become the odd-woman out, it's totally heartbreaking. There's no way that's fair to you.

Does she cross the line?

Have you asked her to lay off the jokes or does she know that something bothers you and does it anyway? That's a blatant disregard for your feelings and it hurts even worse when it's coming from someone you trusted. Give her another chance to see if she'll stop, but otherwise it might be time to create some distance between the two of you.

How do you deal?

Figuring out how to handle the toxic friendship in your life can be tough, especially if you're at school together. There might be things about this girl that you still really like, but maybe you just feel like you're not meant to be as close as you are. That's okay. You should defintely find out how much distance you think you need from this girl.

If this girl gets vicious when you start pulling away a little bit, try talking to her and explainging your worries. She might be willing to talk and want to work through things and that's for you two to decide. Your friend could totally take the news poorly and become downright mean. If that's the case, then you made the right call and it's full steam ahead in moving on.

We'd recommend branching out to other people outside friend group. You don't need to completely cut off your old gal pals, but it's nice to have the option of hanging out with a different crowd. Consider trying a new club or organization so you have a spot you can spend a hour or two every week. If you think you can swing it, look into service projects or study abroad programs at your school. It will throw you into a new environment with people that you'll likely end up bonding with pretty quickly. When you arrive back at campus, you've got a whole new set of friends!