‘Subgramming’ is the easiest way to make him obsessed with you and not even realize it

Maybe nobody told you this, but apparently thirst traps don't work anymore.

Why? Well, according to the men of the internet, posting "revealing photos" with the "explicit intent to make someone want to sleep with you" is both unattractive and undesirable. Who knew!

So, what are women doing to navigate this ever-changing landscape? We're doing what we always do and adapting, because "subgramming" is the new thirst trap even we couldn't see coming.

How does it work

Subgramming is akin to subtweeting in that it informs someone of something without doing so (too) directly. You want them to know, but you don't want them to know you want them to know.

It's really a form of inception when you get down to it. You drop something into the Instagram feed of someone else, and hope it causes them to slowly fall for you without realizing they have.

You both like the same books and listen to the same music, and oh, now you're in love!

Usually when you subgram, it's at someone you've had contact with, but are trying to win over: you went on a date and he mentioned he loves hiking, so you pop up a photo of a mountain. Or last time you ran into one another at a party, he mentioned how often he listens to the Smiths (they all do), so you use some of their lyrics in your caption. It's also super easy to subgram in your story, without ruining the aesthetic of your feed.

Here are a few examples.

Subgramming a wokeboy

You hate yourself for it, but you always fall for them. Who's to say if it's the cuffed pant look, or the way their Vans look like they could just stomp your heart out, but here you are, admiring their uncombed hair and translucent Ray-Ban frames. Again.

You've always been a sucker for a guy who brings his own red wine to parties, so try Instagraming some Sylvia Plath to let him know that you, too, read.

Subgramming a stoner

Do you smoke weed? Does he smoke weed? Do you want him to know you both smoke weed so you can finally fall in love and run off to a weed utopia together? There's a way!

Be careful about this one — mom might still check in on your gram.

Subgramming a health freak

Every last thing about this guy is perfect, down to the way his forehead creases when he talks, but there's just one itty-bitt issue: He's a heath freak. His cabinets are stocked with quinoa, and he rides his bike to and from work every day, even when it's cold.

You've been busy with work and forgot to renew your gym membership this month, but don't sweat it.

Toss this up and he won't even notice.

When all else fails?

When subgramming inevitably fails you — as all of our attempts at romance always do — tell them how you feel in the caption.

It may not work, but at least you'll be able to say you tried. Because if this doesn't work, you have literally no game left.

@carolinephinney