Eating pizza feels exactly like shooting heroin, according to science
Research says its the most addictive food
by Una Dabiero
It really feels like most people I know have some kind of pizza dependency.
Think about it: whenever you're craving something, it's either chocolate… or pizza. Whenever your annoying skinny friend is looking to be "soooo bad", she's trying to get a thicc pepperoni slice. And when you're starving in college, the first thing you buy with your paycheck (or loan refund, whichever one) is an XL pie.
So I guess it's a slight relief –- or maybe straight-up terrifying –- to find out we really are all dependent. According to researchers at the University of Michigan, pizza is addictive in the exact same way that drugs are addictive. Apparently, the high fat and complex carbohydrate levels in pizza make our bodies treat it like heroin or crack. Good to know this isn't just a Me Problem.
In an interview with Thrillist, Dr. Stephen Neabore said, "If you show people a picture of pizza or if they’re eating it, the same area of the brain would light up — the same place that lights up for heroin." But he qualifies that he doesn't put it in "the same category" as drugs. Ok, Stephen.
The kinda crazy thing is it's not only that we love looking at pizza or indulging in a slice. According to the study, pizza shares the same "pharmacokinetic properties as drugs of abuse" like heroin and cocaine, meaning you get more pleasure out of pizza when you eat more and eat fast. I guess this explains why we all want pizza when we're sad or drunk: our bodies are looking for dopamine and looking for it fast.
But how do we stop the crippling pizza addiction that causes us to fully-fund the local Papa Johns and fill out our skinny jeans? Bustle suggests pairing your pizza with some form of vegetable, like a side salad, to disrupt pizza's effect on the brain. Just make sure your salad isn't covered in "dairy crack", or you're just going to OD on cheese.
Bet you can’t tell the difference between Curvy Wife Guy’s book and the Unabomber manifesto
Which awful book did we read?
by Harry Shukman
The 21st Century's number one trickster is Robbie Tripp, aka The Curvy Wife Guy, sometimes called The Thicc Wife Guy. He's the horny weirdo who went viral with a deeply weird Instagram post about his wife: "Her shape and size won't be the one featured on the cover of Cosmopolitan but it's the one featured…
Your weekly horoscopes are here, and they come with a major warning
Things are about to get messy
by Codi Cheyenne
CAUTION: Look out for September 18 as a day full of erratic energy and a desire to rebel thanks to Mars squaring Uranus for the third time this year. If you don’t find a healthy place to release this energy, it’ll most likely turn into stressful conflict that can even physically manifest itself in the…
That weird ‘Curvy Wife Guy’ hates us :(
‘I was often teased for my attraction to girls on the thicker side, ones who were shorter and curvier’
by Harry Shukman
Whoever said heroes come in all shapes and sizes clearly never imagined that one day, The Curvy Wife Guy would come onto this earth and declare himself a martyr for thiccness. Also known as The Thicc Wife Guy, né Robbie Tripp, he first appeared on your timeline with this horny and unsettling post about his…