If you can say ‘yes’ to any of these things, you’re probably an emotional cheater


lust  • 

If you can say ‘yes’ to any of these things, you’re probably an emotional cheater

‘Fess up!

Here at babe, we want to help our readers interpret the stupid, confusing, fucked up dating behaviors that the mediocre men in your lives put you through on an all-too-regular basis.

But sometimes, dear reader, the problem isn't them: it's you.

Maybe he's been your best friend since forever and you couldn't imagine a world where you don't spend regular one-on-one time with him. Maybe he's that guy at work you flirt with all the time, but only as a joke, duh!

Sure, you've got a little, teeny-tiny crush on him, but that's ridiculous because you're in love with your boyfriend. Right?

Wake up, bitch. If you're pulling any of the following antics, you're cheating, even if you're still physically faithful.

You're deleting texts

If your partner gets jealous when you text someone else for notes from Monday's lecture, that's on him and not you. In fact, that's some controlling, scary behavior you should probably watch out for. But if your day feels incomplete whenever you don't get to text that special someone else about boring shit like feelings or Game of Thrones, or who's being mean to them at work, that's a major warning sign.

You constantly compare your boyfriend to other guys

If you find yourself sizing your partner up in comparison to that guy on the subway with the eyebrows, that's one pretty unkind thing but not the end of the world. If you're thinking about old flings while he's inside you, on the other hand, you're out of line. Check yourself, ma!

You lie to your boyfriend about who you're chilling with

I'm a vocal proponent of the ability for straight guys and straight girls to be totally platonic friends. But if you've got a platonic, straight male friend that you spend so much time with that you find yourself telling your boyfriend that a one-on-one brunch was actually a group hangout, that's a major red flag.

You'll take any excuse to touch another guy

Personally, I'm not interested in making non-sexual physical contact with another living creature unless I'm petting a dog or seeing my parents for the first time in more than a month. But for some of you thirsties, touching someone else is a regular part of your day-to-day. What's not regular is getting up close and personal with a guy who's not your man, under the guise of being silly. Please stop giving your "best friend" a neck massage at this kickback. This isn't high school theater class, and you're being a bad girlfriend.

You re-downloaded "the apps"

Haha, isn't it so funny that you're back on Tinder because you saw your friends swiping right on hotties and got kinda jealous? It's such a hilarious joke that you're talking to other guys on Bumble! God, it's just like so hysterical because obviously you'd never do anything with Max who went to Emerson… Even though he lives like three blocks from your apartment. And has really pretty green eyes. Hmmm.

You stop talking about your boyfriend when you meet new people

The idea that you have to disclose the fact that you're in a relationship when you meet anybody new is total bullshit. The fact that you specifically withhold that information when you meet a cute guy at a bar is not. When I'm dating a guy I'm seriously into, I will work the fact that he exists into literally any conversation. Am I crazy? Yes. But if you don't like your man enough to bring him up and stunt on your dental hygienist when she asks if you're flossing, maybe you should do some soul-searching.

You go to another guy with your problems before your actual boyfriend

Since your job probably isn't oversharing online, you might actually need to talk to someone instead of writing listicles or venting on Twitter to work your problems out. Sucks! If you're forgoing emotional intimacy with your partner in favor of another guy, like running to someone else when your grandma's health takes a turn for the worse or you have a shitty day at the office, you're not putting in the work to build the relationship you're already in. Sharing intense feelings with someone you're attracted to is a slippery slope, and not fair to the person you are already with.

You like to bring up other guys in front of your boyfriend

Whether you're bringing up the dudes in your DMs after your latest Instagram story (shouts out to Avery) or talking about the transgressions of exes, bringing up other guys is only gonna make your boyfriend wonder what you aren't telling him. It's one thing if the messages are so creepy it's comical, but if you're using other dudes' advances as a way to make your man insecure, check yourself.

You're sexting

Seriously? This is cheating. Don't be a dumbass.

On the bright side, men are apparently less impacted by emotional infidelity than women are, so if you're feeling guilty enough to confess to your boyfriend he might not be as upset as he would be by actual sex.

But that doesn't make it okay at all. If you can't commit to your partner physically, mentally and emotionally, end it. In the long run, you'll be doing him and yourself a favor.


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