Let’s revisit the wild, wild ride that was your late 00s Tumblr account
@justgirlythings was your go-to, don’t lie to me
by Una Dabiero
Tumblr in 2012 was truly a terrifying place: we were still making rage memes, reblogging Nicholas Cage jokes, and sharing glittery GIFs of Miley Cyrus in her long-hair-but-not-Hannah-Montana phase.
But maybe the worst part of this era was we all thought we were sooo damn cool. As a quick reminder of what a fucking internet loser you were, and a humble reminder all of us will probably look back at our modern Twitter and gag, here is a round-up of the tumblr trends you TOTALLY participated in even if they now warrant the death penalty:
justgirlythings was your go-to for relatable content
And your daily reminder to beg your mom for a tattoo.
And to let your crush know you wanted his ~cuddles~
But mostly in front of his friends.
But really, you reblogged anything about infinity signs
Especially if they had the anchor in them.
Your tumbr was full of memes that actually look like what your dad thinks memes look like
I feel like I am looking at an ancient art piece, rn.
And you definitely reblogged tons of facts about yourself
I'm clumsy, but thats ok because I love being **quirkyy**.
You also posted lots of stuff about crying yourself to sleep
You know, since being on tumblr meant you were deeper than the average teen.
And text conversations with a dog
We liked to suspend reality in 2012
Like, we even thought text posts like this were funny
You probably reblogged tons of quotes you thought were "edgy"
Even if you didn't realize were written by 2pac
And lots of Smiler/Selenator/Belieber/Directioner content
Back when Justin was getting arrested all the time! And now he's got a church!
Your timeline was covered in aspirational images of girls with "sick" hair and lots of bracelets
"I want her style!"
And tumblr boys with lots of swagg…
…who told you not to be insecure
Who needs makeup when you have tumblr??
You probably reblogged some… slightly misogynistic content
I am so sorry to every woman I berated when I was 14.
And lots of girls smoking
Because smoking is both ~edgy~ and ~cool~!
Honestly, tumblr in 2012 was a godforsaken space where we let Drake give advice
We know now love hasn't worked out too great for Aubrey.
But I honestly wouldn't want my internet archive to look any other way.
Bet you can’t tell the difference between Curvy Wife Guy’s book and the Unabomber manifesto
Which awful book did we read?
by Harry Shukman
The 21st Century's number one trickster is Robbie Tripp, aka The Curvy Wife Guy, sometimes called The Thicc Wife Guy. He's the horny weirdo who went viral with a deeply weird Instagram post about his wife: "Her shape and size won't be the one featured on the cover of Cosmopolitan but it's the one featured…
Your weekly horoscopes are here, and they come with a major warning
Things are about to get messy
by Codi Cheyenne
CAUTION: Look out for September 18 as a day full of erratic energy and a desire to rebel thanks to Mars squaring Uranus for the third time this year. If you don’t find a healthy place to release this energy, it’ll most likely turn into stressful conflict that can even physically manifest itself in the…
That weird ‘Curvy Wife Guy’ hates us :(
‘I was often teased for my attraction to girls on the thicker side, ones who were shorter and curvier’
by Harry Shukman
Whoever said heroes come in all shapes and sizes clearly never imagined that one day, The Curvy Wife Guy would come onto this earth and declare himself a martyr for thiccness. Also known as The Thicc Wife Guy, né Robbie Tripp, he first appeared on your timeline with this horny and unsettling post about his…