Why won’t your boyfriend have sex anymore because you’re about to lose it
You need the D
You feel like you're losing your mind. You've been dating your boyfriend for a while and used to be all over each other. The months have passed and now things have gone kind of stale in the bedroom. You've tried everything to get his attention, but he just brushes you off. He's "tired." He's been "busy." You're just horny and want sex. You've started telling your friends, "my boyfriend won't have sex and I don't know why."
Sometimes a little perfume and lingerie can spice things up, but you've already exhausted all the typical options. We're breaking down what could be going on that's keeping you from getting that D.
First up: you're not crazy
Stop thinking you've let yourself go and there's something wrong with you. You're attractive and totally sexy. Don't be ashamed of being a sexual person who requires intimacy in your relationship. That's normal.
Guys are often portrayed as being the horndogs who are constantly bagering their girlfriends for sex. You're not weird for wanting to have sex more consistently than you're currently getting it.
Is he depressed?
Do you know if you're boyfriend has a history with depression? That could be part of the reason why his sex drive has been so low. If he's taking anti-depressants, some of those can cause erectile disfunction as a side effect.
What's his workout situation?
Studies have been done that show if guys work out too much or too little, their libido takes a dive. Researchers from University of North Carolina found that if men worked out more than 10 hours a week, 15 percent of them had a lower sex drive. While only two percent of men who exercised only four to six hours experienced a low libido.
Does he watch a lot of porn?
Obviously it's a bit of a given, but when a guy starts getting addicted to porn, it's a problem. "Studies have shown that porn fuels unrealistic expectations about what sex should be like," Les Parrott, PhD told Women's Day. "It makes men less satisfied with their partners."
On a related note, if he's masturbating a lot, then he's satisfying himself and won't feel the need to have sex with you. It might take an awkward talk, but you deserve to get off too.
Does he stay up nights?
A little sleep deprivation because you were up late (or early) getting it on is great. Unfortunately, not sleeping enough can really affect a guy's sex drive. Does your BF have a lot of work or emotional stress on his plate that's keeping him up or could he be suffering from a sleep disorder?
How's your relationship otherwise?
With the exception of the lack of sex, are you guys pretty much solid? You might want to try and talk with him about your status. Could he be secretly mad about something that happened weeks ago? We wouldn't recommend bringing up the lack of sex in this conversation. Just ask and see if he's happy.
If there are underlying emotional issues, they might be the source of your troubles. You two should hopefully be able to work through it and get back into bed together.
Do you suspect him of cheating?
This is such a tough one. Has he given you any reason to be suspicious? You might really need to dig deep and think about how he's been treating you. Have you been ditched last minute for his "friends" or gone hours without hearing back from him? It's terrible to even contemplate, but we're going through every possible scenario.
Could there be a medical issue?
"The penis can be considered a barometer of overall health for men," Phil Nguyen, MD told Women's Day. Weird/gross, we're sorry, but it's true. If you've noticed your boyfriend has had a hard time (no pun intended) keeping it up or finishing, then there could be something wrong. Dr. Nguyen said, "if there are problems in this area, it could be symptomatic of larger health issues such as diabetes, prostate cancer or heart disease."
Lots of guys experience a decrease in testosterone as they get older. That often leads to erectile disfunction. It's a disorder called hypogonadism. If your guys has had decreased energy, low mood, fatigue, loss of muscle mass, then low testosterone might be the culpruit according to Abraham Morgentaler, MD.
What's he drinking?
He's constantly guzzling the coffee during the week and picking up the booze on the weekends. That could totally affect his libido, according to Men's Fitness. Caffeine is a stimulant, which could increase your stress level. High stress makes for low sex drive.
On the opposite end of things, everyone knows about whiskey dick, but too much alcohol can negatively affect your organs. If they're suffering, he won't feel like a roll in the hay.
So what can you do?
It's a really tough topic to bring up with a guy because obviously he's likely to be really sensitive about it. If you feel like you've tried all the non-verbal cues and are at your total wit's end, then it might be time for a serious talk. Try to be delicate about how you're feeling and communicate clearly. Make sure you give him a chance to responde and see how it goes.
If you're still trying to suss out the situation. Try increasing the casual touches and bits of affection you show him. It might be the little thing he didn't even know he was missing.