The fuckboy haircut: An evolutionary timeline through history
Fuckboy hair in every decade
Fuckboys come in all shapes and sizes…and haircuts. You can totally spot one from a mile away by his faded hairstyle. You know, the guy who has the sides shaved and his hair longer on top. As it turns out, the fuckboy haircut is nothing new. It’s just changed throughout history. So we’ve created the definitive timeline of the evolution of the fuckboy and his haircut.
The fade (2010s)
This is the current fuckboy haircut we’re all living with. It’s loved by some and despised by others. As with most of the haircuts on this list, it doesn’t flatter everyone that gets it. This guy probably arrived at the bar after his finance job in a full suit and loves to talk about numbers and the gym. You probably won’t get more than a word into the conversation.
The man-bun (Early 2010s)
If you see a guy rocking a man-bun at this point, walk the other way. He’s like seven years behind on the trend. He really wanted to appear artistic and sensitive, but didn’t realize he looked like an idiot.
The Biebs fuckboy haircut (2000s)
Ah Justin, between you and Zac Efron in High School Musical this fuckboy haircut took off. Soon guys everywhere were doing that ridiculous hair flip that you absolutely swooned for all through middle school. He rode a skateboard and couldn’t do a single trick, but you thought he was a bad boy anyway.
The crew cut (2000s)
Like the fade, this one only worked on a guy with a very specific type of bone structure. The crewcut man was strong and didn’t need anybody. You were drawn to him for no reason at all. You just felt he needed you.
Grunge hair (1990s)
This fuckboy haircut sounded way cooler than it actually was because one word: grease. Did anyone wash their hair in the 90s? The grunge guy was moody and desperately wanted to be Kurt Cobain. He was angry and looked like he’d been sleeping in the same clothes for a week.
Frosted tips (1990s)
Why, why, why did this happen? Who told these poor souls that this way a good look? N*SYNC were probably frosted tips’ worst offenders. This guy needed to be on trend. He totally practiced the “Bye Bye Bye” moves in his room because he thought he’d look like a champ at a school dance. He wanted to be a fuckboy more than he actually was.
Rocker hair (1980s)
The 80s was all about the hair. You had to have it to head-bang. The long-haired rocker drove a motorcyle and was the town bad boy. It was your dream he’d run away with you after graduation and leave everyone in your dust.
Slicked back (1980s)
Gordon Gecko was his hero. He started wearing suits just to go to class and carried the Wall Street Journal everywhere. He was all about making a quick buck and you immediately knew he was totally shady.
If you’ve seen American Hustle, you know Bradley Cooper was the ultimate fuckboy. He was way too concerned about his style and I mean, those curlers were atrocious. This guy loved disco and had to be in the center of attention so his dance-moves could be fully appreciated. You thought he was hip for approximately three hours and then found him exhausting.
The shag (1970s)
He wanted the “Moves Like Jagger” and tried his hardest to have that “I don’t care” look. You saw right through it though, but still found him irresistible. You hung on because you were really hoping he’d write a song about you. Plus, you guys partied all night and he was the best sex you ever had.
The bowl cut (1960s)
The Beatles may be music icons, but those haircuts were rough. The bowl cut in all its variations remained a hairstyle that would go on to inflict children for decades to come. This mod-fuckboy was eager and all over you…until he wasn’t.
The pompadour (1950s)
The pompadour was a thing of beauty when done right. Elvis defintely set a high standard. This guy was cool and aloof. He was too wounded for you to get close, but kept letting you try. His rare displays of affection left you weak in the knees and coming back for more even if you knew he was seeing another gal on the side.
Tousled and gelled (1940s)
This fuckboy haircut, but not to the extreme. This guy was constantly on the move and showed up when you least expected him. His unreliable nature was a key part of his charm. You dreamed about him day after day. Just when you had given up, he surprised you with a romantic adventure you’d swoon over for years.
The side part and stache (1930s)
The 30s were all about the stache. This fuckboy had a harsh side-part and carried a comb just for his thin mustache in his pocket. He was slick and he knew it. He’d call you the most annoying pet names and you’d actually let him. You two would be getting dinner on the regular before he stopped coming round. You didn’t see him for weeks until you spotted him walking down the street with a new girl on his arm.
Gelled to the max (1920s)
Just when you thought his hair couldn’t get any more gelled or stylized, you hit the 20s. The parts were harsher and the sideburns were longer. He took you out dancing until dawn and never talked much. You thought things were heating up and until he suddenly told you it wouldn’t work out.